Brainiac 0.0 Vs. Nu-Starro

VS.

After reading this new R.E.B.E.L.S. series and taking in this new interpretation of Starro, I think I've come to a realization as to why I think Starro the Barbarian is a lame idea.

I know some people would read the reasoning behind this new Starro and compare it to Geoff Johns' introduction of the "true" Brainiac in Action Comics. Mainly because they both contain the line about never meeting the true (insert name). And while Johns has the benefit of using that reasoning first, it's not the only reason I accept the new Brainiac and not Starro.

If you look at the history of Brainiac, it can be seen that his physical form has never been dealt with, especially in Superman's case. Post Crisis, Brainiac shows up having taking over the body of carny Milton Fine. It could be said that the real Vril Dox escaped whatever imprisonment the Coluans had for him and he only restructured Fine's mind as a backup plan. Even the late 80's huge brained version of Brainiac was a engineered body created by Lex Luthor. With the many later Brainiacs(which apparently gets up to 13), the fact that some original body of Brainiac never actually showed up on Earth is easy to take. The universe is vast and he had lots of other planets to city-jack so he had surrogates to help speed things up.

In Starro's case, in every earlier appearance, he(it?) is a giant starfish. Even in JLA, we're introduced to another member of Starro's race and it's a ginormous starfish as well. But now, it's revealed that Starro isn't the giant starfish spewing smaller starfish on people's faces, it's this steroid-upped space viking who carries around a giant axe. This "real" Starro recruits certain aliens allowing them a measure of freewill to run his campaigns, much different from Starro's plans which all seem to be him planting himself in a bay and throwing starfish on bewildered fisherman.

To say this guy is the true Starro, and not some guy who managed to control Starro or a body Starro decided to hang on to, changes the character fundamentally and comes way out of left field. I'm interested to get the final explanation for this interpretation, but between Bedard using Johns' idea and taking ideas straight out of Annihilation:Conquest, R.E.B.E.L.S. may not stay on my pull list.

Honor Among Thieves

One of (if not)the best things about Geoff Johns' run of The Flash was his reinvention of Flash's Rogues Gallery. Led by Captain Cold, the Rogues had code and direction: get rich quick and don't piss off the heroes. While not the noblest of ideals, it set the Rogues apart from the rogues gallery of other heroes, who would as soon kill each other as work together. They fall into that criminal category of guys who just couldn't work in normal society, but aren't complete sociopaths.

I was dismayed that Johns' characterization lasted all of a month before it was thrown out the window, culminating in the Rogues killing Bart Allen for the lamest reason: they didn't want to go back to jail. As if no one will realize that Flash was killed by the Rogues after publicly fighting the Rogues two minutes earlier.

With Final Crisis: Rogues' Revenge, Geoff Johns is bringing the Rogues back to form. Hopefully it will stick this time.





P.S.
I would love to read an Ed Brubaker Rogues story. LOVE.

Geoff Johns:King of the Multitaskers

While picking up the many loose threads left by Brad Meltzer from the hideous Lightning Saga, Geoff Johns still has the time to give a shout out to Brian Azzarello.

Geoff Johns Just Can't Help Himself

Boo!

Will someone please explain to me the dynamics of the Batgirl/Deathstroke relationship in Teen Titans?

Somehow, Deathstroke, after having his daughter turn on him in Nightwing, somehow managed to abduct and drug Batgirl in a revenge scenario to get back at Nightwing and Robin, who let Ravager into the Titans. In this scenario, Deathstroke has the newly crazy Batgirl join up with the League of Assassins and try to recruit Robin. Then, he uses Batgirl in his Titans East.

When does this start making any sense?

If he had Batgirl, why have her working with the League of Assassins, then for his own revenge ploy? Why did it take a few decades for Deathstroke's serum to turn him into a loon, but Ravager and Batgirl seemed to only need a dose? Are we really supposed to believe Deathstroke managed to not only think up this complicated plan, but execute it while working with the Society during in IC, and making Robin the focus of it, even though Ravager wasn't taken in by the Titans till a little while before One Year Later? While Tim was supposed to be on a retraining tour with Batman?

My distaste for Teen Titans (the bland art, rehashed themes, lame Kid Devil) is growing and Johns, who managed to bring back Hawkman, Hal Jordan, and Dr. Fate in an entertaining (and I don't want to say plausible, but at least, in a way that doesn't seem like tripe) way, should be able to think of a better way to explain Batgirl's defection than "crazy drugs." I know Geoff Johns is better than this. And Daniel, well, he kind of sucks. Sorry.

And by the way, I think it's awesome that slavery becomes acceptable again in the 30th Century. Lincoln would understand, they're only Martians.