Brainiac 0.0 Vs. Nu-Starro

VS.

After reading this new R.E.B.E.L.S. series and taking in this new interpretation of Starro, I think I've come to a realization as to why I think Starro the Barbarian is a lame idea.

I know some people would read the reasoning behind this new Starro and compare it to Geoff Johns' introduction of the "true" Brainiac in Action Comics. Mainly because they both contain the line about never meeting the true (insert name). And while Johns has the benefit of using that reasoning first, it's not the only reason I accept the new Brainiac and not Starro.

If you look at the history of Brainiac, it can be seen that his physical form has never been dealt with, especially in Superman's case. Post Crisis, Brainiac shows up having taking over the body of carny Milton Fine. It could be said that the real Vril Dox escaped whatever imprisonment the Coluans had for him and he only restructured Fine's mind as a backup plan. Even the late 80's huge brained version of Brainiac was a engineered body created by Lex Luthor. With the many later Brainiacs(which apparently gets up to 13), the fact that some original body of Brainiac never actually showed up on Earth is easy to take. The universe is vast and he had lots of other planets to city-jack so he had surrogates to help speed things up.

In Starro's case, in every earlier appearance, he(it?) is a giant starfish. Even in JLA, we're introduced to another member of Starro's race and it's a ginormous starfish as well. But now, it's revealed that Starro isn't the giant starfish spewing smaller starfish on people's faces, it's this steroid-upped space viking who carries around a giant axe. This "real" Starro recruits certain aliens allowing them a measure of freewill to run his campaigns, much different from Starro's plans which all seem to be him planting himself in a bay and throwing starfish on bewildered fisherman.

To say this guy is the true Starro, and not some guy who managed to control Starro or a body Starro decided to hang on to, changes the character fundamentally and comes way out of left field. I'm interested to get the final explanation for this interpretation, but between Bedard using Johns' idea and taking ideas straight out of Annihilation:Conquest, R.E.B.E.L.S. may not stay on my pull list.

Geoff Johns:King of the Multitaskers

While picking up the many loose threads left by Brad Meltzer from the hideous Lightning Saga, Geoff Johns still has the time to give a shout out to Brian Azzarello.

EAT IT, BIG MIKE!!!

I hope it's bitter.

Turnaround

I was disappointed with Donner & Johns' first two issues of Action Comics. While well drawn and well written, the story was done before. In Superman II and Superman Returns basically. I didn't enjoy seeing Jimmy Olsen devolved into a glorified gopher after about a decade or more of him coming into his own. And revealing that the kid was the son of Zod and Ursa, while surprising, wasn't enough of a cliffhanger or plot twist to make me think this story was going to be anything special.

But then Action Comics #846 came out and turn the old story up to 11. Getting past the short sightedness of Jor-El not setting the alarm in the Fortress to only Kal-El's DNA, the attack of the three Kryptonians is epic in scene and Zod's plan was for me, unexpected in it's entirety. I give Johns and Donner much credit for making me excited for #847.

For some reason, after reading Neil Gaiman's Eternals, I want to go to all my friends and give them a hug.

Justice is just getting better and better, and Krueger and Ross really know how to bring out the strengths of second tier heroes. The reveals are jaw-droppingly cool and, yes, it features my favorite Supergirl costume. Yay, baggy sleeves and hot pants!

I just came to a sad realization today. I read on Wizard Entertainment that the 'future' of the Marvel Universe is to have a militarized superhero community and thought, "You know who has a militarized superhero community? The Ultimate Universe." And I think I've said before the Ultimate Universe, while having a few interesting storylines, depresses the hell out of me. While on the one hand having superheroes not concentrated in one city makes for diverse and fresh stories, having the slightly fascist undertone to every registered hero story will, well, depress the hell out of me. How can I read a book that spends every storyline hunting and maiming/killing superheroes? Bye-bye, Thunderbolts.

Anyway, I think I'll concentrate on what I like about comics, like Batman and the various un-Millar-tainted X-books. And of course, Supergirl's hot pants.