Sunday, October 7, 2007

Weekend Fun

So this Saturday I had an excellent time playing HeroClix and getting schooled by the Great JC himself. Seeing a bunch of regular guys on a Saturday playing a game based on superheroes got me to wondering what superheroes do on their downtime. So I decided to hop over most of the country and see what the Avengers WestCoast were up to.
Like most superheroes, USAgent was busy working out in full costume while his compatriots stood around and either heckled or remained unimpressed because they could lift that weight with one mechanical hand. It was a slow day in the City of Angels, but things started looking up for everyone except Iron Man when Wonder Man showed up. Oh, Stark, you were always a bit of a douche.

Anyway, Simon has to go reshoot scenes for his late 80's action movie and needs someone to take his place at a charity event. Iron Man shoots him down saying they had other responsibilities, like watching USAgent work out. But Hawkeye, being not a douche, decides that teammates help each other out. And that's how Hawkeye, Iron Man, Vision and USAgent found themselves at a monster truck rally.

So the redneck's happy, but the rest of the Left Coast Avengers have to tough it out. They put on a show for the crowd but one member of the audience is anything but entertained. A villain who uses a monster truck rally as his debut? This guy must be pure evil, but with a lousy memory. He seems to have brought the blueprints of his master plan along with him. This ne'er-do-well has a point to make and everyone will remember the dramatic debut of......Doctor Goodwrench. Yeah.

So, the good Dr. sends the MTR machines to attack the crowd in the name of machine freedom and the Avengers Dub-C spring into action, without yelling "Avengers Assemble!" Kind of troubling. Still they fight off the mechanical dinosaur and Goodwrench tells the machines to "defend" themselves against the Avengers. Because trucks, no matter how big they are, are no match for the Avengers, Goodwrench turns Iron Man's armor against the Avengers, bringing Hawkeye to a realization that everyone should have came to when Goodwrench first rocked the mic.

Doctor Goodwrench is insane. Because machines don't talk. And Hawkeye decides to talk Doctor Goodwrench down. But it's the Vision who finally brings an end to this quirky tale. And yeah, Vision at this point is half C3-PO. Maybe two-thirds. And this wacky story wraps up the only way it could.

"Let's hug it out, bitch!"

And one last bit of douchery from Mr. Stark. Because Wonder Man drove Doctor Goodwrench crazy.

I think it's telling that while us normal guys are playing hero on weekends, superheroes are doing normal things on their weekends like going to monster truck rallies and making sure nutjobs get the help they need. I think that's called irony.

And who brought us this feel good time from the next best Avengers?

1 comment:

Scipio said...

I want, "My current program doesn't allow for a physical show of support for a virtual stranger" on a tee shirt...