JON HEX LIVES!

Weekend Contest: Win a Copy of the Sold Out 'Duncan the Wonder Dog'

2010-12-31T11:50:00.005-05:00

Comics Alliance is running a contest to win what the title of this post is talking about so I thought I'd use my neglected blog to make an entry. Multitasking, bitches!

As an aside, this makes me feel like Ralphie writing his theme in desperate hopes to get that air rifle. Hope Laura Hudson doesn't tell me I'll shoot my eye out.

Hard to figure out which non-speaking animal is my favorite since LOCKJAW AND THE PET AVENGERS came out, but I'm going to go with: Robin Robin, Robin's pet Robin in TINY TITANS.

I imagine that given the ability of speech, his first words would be "AW YEAH, PET CLUB!" Maybe followed up with, "Wait, which Robin is mine?"

REMEMBER WHEN...

2010-11-01T17:32:00.007-04:00

...Captain America went emo and no one called him out on it?

To be fair to the people of the late 80's, the term "emo" hadn't been invented yet, but that is completely what happened to Steve Rogers. Back in '87, Rogers became distrustful of the government after a high ranking senator turned out to be an operative of the Secret Empire. When the Commission on Superhero Activities demanded Rogers come back to work as a government agent, he let go of the government owned Captain America costume and went into action as the black-clad The Captain.

This being the 80's you'd think they were trying to make Cap dark and gritty, but that was reserved for the new Captain America John Walker. Walker started off levelheaded, then went completely off the rails, killing loads of people before Rogers smacked him down. No, Rogers' black costume was to show his disillusionment with the government he held so high.

This is Sad Cap. Still kicked ass, though. He is the Super-Soldier.

JON HEX REVIEWS...The War for Infinity

2010-10-31T17:48:00.005-04:00

The War for Infinity

Artist: Adam WarRock, featuring Tribe One

Producer: Ruckus Roboticus

Geek fandom/culture has seen an explosion in popularity in the past ten years and with it, a trend of blending geekdom with other influences. While geek hip hop is not entirely new, Adam WarRock’s The War for Infinity may be the first time it was exceptionally brilliant.

Adam WarRock is the alter ego of Eugene Ahn, who left a law career to devote himself full time to hip hop. After listening to Infinity, you will agree it was for the best. The lead track, I Am Him, tells the backstory of the character Adam WarRock and certifies WarRock’s geek credentials to anyone who gets the reference. It also serves as prologue because the album (with the exception of a few tracks) is a story in rhyme, each serving up a chapter in the battle between WarRock and his archenemy Demonos (played by Tribe One).

WarRock has an impressive way with words. His voice stays clear, keeping the story from taking backstage to the stunning beats laid down by Ruckus Roboticus. Tracks like Heroes Requiem show off his storytelling ability, which is a rarity in mainstream hip hop. Requiem not only name-drops dozens of superheroes and iconic character, but presents them in a character-true cosmic battle sequence. Crooked Deal shows a Faustian deal with allusions to shady record company practices.

The strongest songs are when WarRock and Tribe One play off each other, a meta battle of words between characters and artists. Battle (Introductions) is a cosmic rap battle that only serves to fuel Demonos’ rage and give a glimpse of the awesomeness of Battle (Finale), the ultimate showdown between the two cosmic adversaries. It feels like a sonic mega event and you will listen to it again and again.

Some may be put off by the idea of a story concept album, but shouldn’t be. This is hip hop as it when meant to be: a demonstration of a love, whether it’s of a people, a culture, the streets or the way stories are presented. For an even deeper experience, drop the cash for the Deluxe version, which contains exclusive remixes of songs from WarRock’s Tracklog, his musical sketchbook offered free on his website AdamWarRock.com. Listen to the track log, buy the album.

Rating: A+ An engaging story backed by superior beats.

Purchase The War for Infinity CD at http://adamwarrock.bigcartel.com/product/the-war-for-infinity-cd

Purchase The War for Infinity CD/Digital Deluxe Download at http://adamwarrock.bandcamp.com/album/the-war-for-infinity-deluxe-edition

New York Comic Con 2010: Saturday

2010-10-11T13:54:00.010-04:00

I only realized NYCC was coming around when I read Adam WarRock's post on his set with Kirby Krackle at the NYC Nerd Rock Festival. It wasn't that long after SPX, so there wasn't a lot of time to plan a trip to one of (if not) the most popular destinations in the US, but I tried to rally the troops. Troops had other he plans, then the weekend & Saturday passes for the con sold out. Always next year, right?

Enter James Rambo, a friend of mine who works at Victory Comics in VA. Victory set up a booth at NYCC and had an extra professional pass. As soon as Rambo offered, my mind was set and I decided I was going, sans plan. I hopped an early morning (cheaper) train and was in NYC an hour before the con started. It reminded of SDCC circa '06, and had a lot of cool booths set up and interesting merch being sold, like the new Steve Rogers tee and disco lightsabers. I spent a few hours just wandering around and talking with Rambo and Julian Lytle, who had a table in Artists Alley.

I was able to buy a copy of The War For Infinity from Euge (Adam WarRock) after running into him between show floors. He is a cool guy and still talked to me after making the worst pun ever using his name. He saw Chris Claremont and HE brought up how bittersweet it was to see the man, forever cementing my high opinion of Euge. Then I ran into Jen Vaughn who was at the con just to visit, mostly. I met her at SPX when she was selling Adam WarRock tees she designed. For those who don't know her, I'm sorry about that, because she's awesome. We met up with David Wolkin of Comics Alliance and wandered around the con saying hello to Jen's friends before the Comics Alliance panel started. She gave a nice bio before getting to each person, so I didn't have to ask what they did or stand there like a prop.

As we passed the signing row looking for Marvel artists, David mentioned how much he didn't like the whole celebrity culture. Jen and I kind of threw it back in his face ten minutes later by asking Scott Adsit to pose with us when we spotted him by the entrance. I was like, "Scott Adsit!" He turned but was a few feet away and suddenly Jen was next to him like a ninja. She handed him copies of her mini-comic to make it less likely for him to blow us off. Told you she's awesome. Anyway, the three of us got to the panel, where Euge and Kevin Church were already seated. It went something like this: http://www.comicsalliance.com/2010/10/15/comicsalliance-panel-video-nycc-2010/ I met Chris Sims face-to-face and got to crack a joke in a public forum. WIN. The con winded down after that. I picked up OCTOPUS PIE: THERE ARE NO STARS IN BROOKLYN from Meredith Gran at the Dumbrella booth. She remembered my face from SPX and I was glad someone remembered my face without confusing me for someone else.

After a bad first impression with the NY subway system, I made it to the Nerd Rock Festival and met up with Euge. We then went over to meet up where Chris Sims, Kevin Church, Robin Kimball, Benjamin Birdie, and Jen had posted up for the show. Robin did an interesting thing with her ears and glowsticks that I got a pic of. Sticks with you. It was quite a fun time and Kirby Krackle rocked way more than I was expecting (I was there for Euge). With Euge's set over, we broke apart and I decided to stay for the rest of the show. Not the best decision. The rest kind of sucked. But altogether, it proved to be one hell of a Saturday and the best decision I've made since deciding to stop watching HEROES.

I WISH...

2010-10-05T23:58:00.005-04:00

...that I worked for Marvel and they still owned the license to G.I. Joe, because I would make this happen:

Real American Hero action!

I Lesbians The Leaked THOR Trailer!

2010-07-29T14:02:00.004-04:00

I have no idea if the video is still up but here the link be: http://thetvrealist.com/gossip/Thor-Comic-Con-Trailer-3145978.html

What you can expect:

- Muscles: Chris Helmsworth hit the gym. Hard. I think it may have fell over.

- Agent Coulson: It seems as though Clark Gregg will be getting screentime equivalent to both IRON MAN movies combined.

- Kat Dennings: I don't know who she plays and do not care. MORE KAT DENNINGS!

- The Warriors Three: Badass!

-Helmets: Worry not, fanboys. Not only is Thor sporting his trademark winged accessory, but brother Loki brings the horns.

- Hammer Swinging: Because it's not a party if it ain't got that swing.

-Lady Sif: Hot, but still...KAT DENNINGS!

DC Keeps My Money...For Now

2010-07-27T23:54:00.008-04:00

For the past few months, I have been whittling down my monthly pull list. Not due to budget constraints, but because a lot of books were starting to suck. The majority of those books were from DC Comics.

After War of the Supermen, I was looking forward to having Superman back on Earth, being Super and what not, but as anyone who read Superman #700 can attest, that is not the case. So, I was wondering if I'd be dropping the other books in the Superman family. I dumped Adventure when it became nouveau-Golden Age Legion of Super-Heroes; I was getting it because I thought Superboy Connor would be the series star. Action Comics was staying on because Paul Cornell's Wisdom and Captain Britain and MI:13 were brilliant, and making the book about Lex Luthor is inspired. But what about Supergirl?

I have mixed feelings about Sterling Gates run. While he was building a solid foundation for the character, every so often Gates would have Supergirl do something so incomprehensibly stupid, I wanted to smack him AND her. Add that to the fact that I wouldn't be reading about Superman at all for at least a year, I couldn't think of a reason to really stay with this title. Then this happened:

You got me, Gates. You got me.

I Lesbians SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD

2010-07-27T11:01:00.007-04:00

Last night, I had the privilege of seeing one of the (if not THE) most awesome combinations of visual and audio stimulation ever put to digital recording. SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD is just a beautiful adaptation of Bryan Lee O'Malley's graphic novels, eschewing the deep characterization that the books have the time for, to bring the frenetic action and indie rock music to life. It's like seeing the pages come alive, and since the books rock ultimate, that's just downright delightful.

The soundtrack with jumps from 80's videogame music to Beck-infused rock is a major highlight to this movie. Videogames and videogame references are splattered across the graphic novels and from the opening you realize Edgar Wright was not going to waste a chance to exploit the movie medium for original references. Also, the music of the bands (Sex Bob-Omb, The Clash at Demonhead, Crash and the Boys) are stunningly good. You will be picking up the soundtrack.

And the fights! O'Malley can draw a good fight, but the ones presented in this movie are ridiculously awesome. Not just the choreography, either. The camera angles give the scenes that extra punch with overhead and moving shots. The Street Fighter influence on the action is particularly awesome, having VS. appear when a fight breaks out and multiple instances of differing game effects with each fight.

The humor of books is also on display. It's freaking hilarious. I have to give it up to the villain turns of Jason Schwartzman, Brandon Routh and particularly Chris Evans, who is just stealing the movie away during his scene. The fact is, though, everyone is pulling their weight, especially Edgar Wright with his cut scenes and sight gags. Michael Cera pulls off the various, differing aspects of Scott Pilgrim well. His general cockiness, paranoid vulnerability, frequent cluelessness, and eventual determination are all there. Plus, it's Michael Cera and that pretty much would have gotten me into the seat, anyway.

Kieran Culkin : Wallace Wells :: Robert Downey Jr. : Tony Stark

Overall, I think what I liked most about the movie is that, even with how close it was to the source material, the divergent path it took was still in keeping with the story. And it was still brilliant. It's a movie you can enjoy tremendously with or without having read the books, because what you love about the story is still there, presented in a more kinetic way.

Rating: *In Miz voice* AAAWWWWWEEE-SSSOOOOOMMMMMEEE!! (Wait, do I like The Miz, now? Damn.)

Great Moments In Animated Insensitivity: THE 13 GHOSTS OF SCOOBY-DOO

2010-07-22T23:56:00.006-04:00

Dateline: 1984

Hanna-Barbera has been milking the Scooby-Doo franchise for a decade and it's time to refresh the property. Having found success with guest stars and, somehow, Scrappy-Doo (really?), HB decides to blend these elements into a new Scooby-Doo series that revolves around a modified Scooby Gang tracking down 13 ghosts released from a Demon Chest Shaggy and Scoob probably thought contained "a crazy cupcake stash."

Rounding out this new crew are Daphne with a fresh bob and a fad-starting short sleeve-over-long sleeve combo, the aforementioned Scrappy and the Master of Scare-amonies, Vincent Price. Now Price pretty much worked like six minutes an episode, letting the youngsters round up the ghosts while I'm guessing he drank vodka tonics and "entertained" whores. But the key ingredient of this series is this little fellow:

When I mentioned the series to my friends on Wednesday, I mistakenly thought the kid's name was Riff Raff, and that he was an Arab orphan with a terribly unfortunate name. The truth is way better. And by "better," I mean kind of racist. See, the kid's name was actually Flim Flam and he was a Mexican con artist. Let that roll around your thoughts for a second.

Just to be clear. In 1984, Hanna-Barbera decided the best way to introduce diversity into Scooby-Doo's all white/canine cast is to give them a Mexican juvenile delinquent with a talent for lying.

Jon Hex Gets It Together...

2010-07-21T14:12:00.004-04:00

...To bring you his review of the last volume of Bryan Lee O'Malley's Scott Pilgrim:

This is JON HEX REVIEWS...

From the start, O'Malley has been throwing readers a curve. When you start reading Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life, you're not really prepared for the craziness and the awesomeness that the story has in store for you. Subspace highways, evil ex-boyfriends (sorry, evil exes), long sword proficiencies, 2 second punk rock masterpieces and vegan psychics come blasting towards you, hooking you into what is the underlining story of how a slacker gets a handle on growing up and falling in love.

Volume Six begins with Scott stuck in limbo, playing PSP Go on his couch waiting for any definitive word on the whereabouts of his love, Ramona V. Flowers. For four months, Scott has been neglecting his job, friends and anything from his life pining for a girl who may not come back, avoiding the final confrontation with Ramona's last evil ex, Gideon. From the earlier volumes, you know Scott can get sidetracked, but without a clear mission, Scott is completely rudderless, moving like a zombie through his life without any sense of what he's doing or what he's going to do.

To me, one of the best parts of this book is Scott's meanderings throughout the beginning of this volume. We get a sense of the what the "lost year" was like, after he broke up with Envy Adams and before he met Knives Chau. Like any finale, we get answers to questions we had from previous volumes and O'Malley delivers here, showing why Scott sees himself a little differently than everyone around him sees him and for his spotty memory.

But life won't wait for Scott to get ready for it. Gideon is opening his new club in Scott's town. Scott's friends are moving on without Scott's participation. Knives Chau is no longer 17 Years Old. Scott tries to get back in the game and finds the road to maturity is not without pain, but it will get him to what he's been looking for.

The greatest thing about this series is how well formed O'Malley's characters are. They're not just props in the story of Scott Pilgrim, they grow and change with the protagonist. You get a sense of how life is changing for Scott by the changes of his friends and it just heightens the story. The emotional center of this series is what makes people into such avid fans.

Rating: A+ This is a finale that does not disappoint and pays off big. Read the whole series. Now.

An Epic Trailer

2010-05-31T12:12:00.005-04:00

If you haven't, check out the new SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD trailer. It will drop your jaw and shut your face at the SAME TIME. I've seen it happen. Bonus: this trailer features lines from the very cute Aubrey Plaza and nice shots of the actors playing Knives Chau and Stephen Stills. As I write, I'm realizing anyone who reads my blog must have seen this trailer like three times already. Well... Go.

Work! Sweet, unpaid work!

2010-05-31T12:01:00.004-04:00

I now write for the good people at PopCultureShock and invite you all to check out the site. I review books like I would occasionally do here, but with more focus on reviewing instead of just saying, "That blows!" Go.

How I Would Make...

2010-03-25T08:41:00.020-04:00

...the LUKE CAGE & IRON FIST movie. Well, not the whole thing, just the beginning.

It would start with a voiceover detailing the government trying to recreate the Super Soldier experiment(complete with a scene from CAPTAIN AMERICA:FIRST AVENGER) and how prisoners were used as guinea pigs. Wrongly convicted Carl Lucas is used as the first experiment which succeeds in creating a super soldier with superstrength and steel hard skin but the machine explodes. Lucas takes the opportunity to escape and start a new life as Luke Cage, Hero for Hire. He sets up shop in his native Harlem, taking up the plight of it's underprivileged citizens, while trying to find the criminal who set him up for manslaughter. Caption would read Brian J. White as Luke Cage.

Next scene begins with a Chinese inspired kingdom shown hidden in snowy mountains, outside a blizzard rages, but inside, it's early spring. Voiceover explains how Wendall Rand once visited the hidden city of K'un L'un, and with his business partner, wife and son make the perilous journey back to the magical land of his youth. But the partner, Harold Meachum, causes the death of his father and wolves take his mother, 6 year old Daniel Rand is left in the care of the Thunderer, the lead trainer of K'un L'un's warriors, who witnessed the death of Daniel's mother
Trained in the martial arts of K'un L'un, Daniel Rand earns the opportunity to fight Shou-Lao the dragon to become the Iron Fist, immortal weapon of the K'un L'un. Battle with Stan Winston dragon ensues, Daniel slaps against the dragon to gain the tattoo, kills Shou-Lao and drives his hands into brazier of mystical-ness to gain the power of the Iron Fist.
Daniel returns to take control of his company from the corrupt Meachum and to fight injustice with his martial art skills and chi powers. Caption would read Cam Gigandet as Iron Fist.

Cue 70's funk, maybe remixed by Danger Mouse. Scenes would show Luke beating street toughs, Danny fighting Tyler Mane. how cases Luke and Danny were working on separately intersected and then the duo deciding to team up. Fighting, explosions and laughter.

Next, captions show Guest Starring Nightwing Restorations Ltd. Freema Agyeman as Misty Knight & Olivia Wilde as Colleen Wing. Scenes of LC & IF teaming up with MK & CW, Tony Stark attaching Misty's robotic arm(brandy in hand), Misty and Danny dating and ends with an appearance by Evangeline Lilly as private detective Jessica Jones and because I like the character, Shia LaBeouf as Rick Jones. Why Rick Jones? Screw you, that's why!

Anyway, where the movie goes from there is anyone's guess. I just do beginnings. Glad to be back to the making blogposts game. Maybe I'll keep it up. Who knows?

Gluten Free!

2009-09-07T14:00:00.004-04:00

Two of my friends, the great Ben Hatton of Second Printing!! and those wednesdays & James "The Franchise" Rambo of Big Monkey Comics employment, have joined forces to present to you their new webcomic, GLUTEN FREE!

Ben has a long history of being funny and writing, which meshes well with Rambo's ability to be funny and draw. The series was just started last week, but how many times have you gotten to a webcomic late and had to backtrack over weeks and weeks of past entries? I just saved you hours of catching up.

You're welcome.

Batgirl #1

2009-08-20T21:31:00.003-04:00

sucks. Why? I'd give you a hint, but it'd be a Spoiler.

I Would Go On Strike But...

2009-07-16T23:37:00.002-04:00

Brian Michael Bendis needs to retire. Seriously.

I commend his dedication to Marvel and the effect he has had on the direction of the line, but enough already. Even Geoff Johns limits himself to the characters he's working on at the time. The entire DCU isn't subject to his viewpoint. Bendis has taken Marvel and sent it into this incredibly depressing downward spiral. And I don't buy into any of those generalizations that Marvel is always depressing, because that is just not true. There were down swings and up swings like any other company.

I think the main problem I'm having with Bendis' Avengers(New Avengers) is that they seem so truly inept. For every situation, they have the same solution: pick up your beating sticks, it's GO TIME! The last three issues could have been a regular-sized Dr. Strange one-shot without the Avengers, for all the good they were. Spider-Man is written like he's fifteen, Bucky Cap apparently has never worked with superheroes, and the most of them are interchangeable since they never seem to have any kind of personality, except occasional jealousy.

What I'm getting for his run is that he has overwritten the Avengers with his superteam from Powers. Now the team who was called in to deal with a biological attack(Red Scare by Geoff Johns) can't stop a juiced-up gang leader and a supervillain with finger waves. It's time for someone else to take the reins.

Also, I can do without Dan Slott throwing dirt on every superhero in the Marvel U. First, Starfox is played up like a rapist and now the Inhuman royal family basically stole the throne from a benevolent king. Before, War of Kings just seemed like Black Bolt and Co. overcompensating for being stepped on for three years. Now, they have a history of douchebaggery. They wanted to use something called a "slave engine" for God's sake.

Brainiac 0.0 Vs. Nu-Starro

2009-07-12T18:29:00.011-04:00

VS.

After reading this new R.E.B.E.L.S. series and taking in this new interpretation of Starro, I think I've come to a realization as to why I think Starro the Barbarian is a lame idea.

I know some people would read the reasoning behind this new Starro and compare it to Geoff Johns' introduction of the "true" Brainiac in Action Comics. Mainly because they both contain the line about never meeting the true (insert name). And while Johns has the benefit of using that reasoning first, it's not the only reason I accept the new Brainiac and not Starro.

If you look at the history of Brainiac, it can be seen that his physical form has never been dealt with, especially in Superman's case. Post Crisis, Brainiac shows up having taking over the body of carny Milton Fine. It could be said that the real Vril Dox escaped whatever imprisonment the Coluans had for him and he only restructured Fine's mind as a backup plan. Even the late 80's huge brained version of Brainiac was a engineered body created by Lex Luthor. With the many later Brainiacs(which apparently gets up to 13), the fact that some original body of Brainiac never actually showed up on Earth is easy to take. The universe is vast and he had lots of other planets to city-jack so he had surrogates to help speed things up.

In Starro's case, in every earlier appearance, he(it?) is a giant starfish. Even in JLA, we're introduced to another member of Starro's race and it's a ginormous starfish as well. But now, it's revealed that Starro isn't the giant starfish spewing smaller starfish on people's faces, it's this steroid-upped space viking who carries around a giant axe. This "real" Starro recruits certain aliens allowing them a measure of freewill to run his campaigns, much different from Starro's plans which all seem to be him planting himself in a bay and throwing starfish on bewildered fisherman.

To say this guy is the true Starro, and not some guy who managed to control Starro or a body Starro decided to hang on to, changes the character fundamentally and comes way out of left field. I'm interested to get the final explanation for this interpretation, but between Bedard using Johns' idea and taking ideas straight out of Annihilation:Conquest, R.E.B.E.L.S. may not stay on my pull list.

Math Makes Me Emotional

2009-05-14T19:53:00.018-04:00

As a blogger, I have a lot of time on my hands. I've decided to use this time by writing a post that combines the color spectrum, the Lantern emotional spectrum and math to explore the relationship between the multi-colored Laterns.

Here goes:

FEAR + RAGE = AVARICE

WILLPOWER - FEAR = HOPE

HOPE + LOVE = COMPASSION

RAGE + HOPE = LOVE

WILLPOWER + AVARICE = FEAR

LOVE + AVARICE = RAGE

Death In Comics

2009-04-04T20:55:00.004-04:00

I've been reading comics for a long time. For as long as I can remember literally. So I've accepted that no comic character can truly stay dead. Characters people embrace are hard to come by and bringing back the ones that have been earlier killed off is easier than trying to make a new one. But every resurrection should at least have an explanation.

I was reading New Avengers:The Reunion #2 and was bothered by the possible return of Monica Rappaccini, an A.I.M. scientist supreme who was apparently exploded in MODAK's 11. Now, explosions are the easiest way to "kill" a character but leaving enough of a loophole to bring the character back later. It's on the opposite end of the scale as a goblin glider through the chest. What irks me though is that to explain her not death, all that was given was "She must have survived."

Really? That's the best you can come up with. A woman in charge of a super-science army and just "must have survived"? Lame. It made me think of Andy Diggle's start in Thunderbolts when he really needed the second Black Widow on his team, who was mutated and killed in New Avengers. The explanation? "That's what they were supposed to think." Now, I love Diggle from The Losers, Adam Strange:Planet Heist, Silent Dragon and Green Arrow: Year One. But you don't explain away what you don't like in a continuity based shared universe with sarcastic comebacks.

Then again, a five part wank fest for a boring, quarter century dead hero probably isn't the way to go, either. Does anyone else feel like Kid Flash reading The Flash:Rebirth?

Ultimatum: Expected

2009-03-01T20:23:00.002-05:00

The Ultimate Universe sucks.

Seriously. Think about it.

Any of your favorite stories from the Ultimate line, no matter how good, are tainted by the fact that nothing in the Ultimate Universe is remotely positive or has the slightest bit of fun to it. Does Nick Fury have to be a complete know-it-all douche? Did Iron Fist really have to sell out the "Ultimate Knights" to the Kingpin? Did Moon Knight have to be a looney toons freak who would drive a school bus through a high school and start shooting randomly to draw Spider-Man out? Does Colossus have to be a steroid case or Nightcrawler a creepy stalker?

As dramatic as a Marvel story can be sometimes, it's comforting to know that it takes in a universe where Gravity could become a herald of Galactus or a psychiatrist is a gamma-irradiated behemoth with green flowing locks. I know I may have said this before, but after reading the latest issue of Ultimate Spider-Man, the only Ultimate title I still read, I'm knid of glad Ultimatum is clearing out that line. I see it as a sign, a sign that any universe that would be overhauled by Jeph Loeb is not worth my time. So, I'm done. The last issue of Ultimate Spider-Man I read will be the last issue I buy.

Wednesday Group

2009-02-18T22:24:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, two friends of mine welcomed their new baby into the world. As much as I felt happy for them (because babies are awesome), I felt a different emotion later when I thought about what it means to be a parent. We, my friends who meet up at Fantom every Wednesday, probably won't see much of the newly parented couple. Add to this The Boz moving to Cali (by the way, What up, Martin?) and I could see a pattern forming.

My Wednesday group was losing people, and have been since we started going to Fantom.

It's not that Fantom is a bad spot, it's great. But since leaving our old store, the regular faces have been halved and with three(?) people no longer being regular within weeks of each other, it made me somewhat melancholy. So melancholy that I began working on this post this morning to get the word out to other readers in the area. I wanted to see if I could refresh our group and keep it together. It's not as bad as all that, but it kind of felt that way this morning. Still, like most things I plan on writing about, my melancholy was premature.

As I walked into Fantom, there was a new face there. A woman chatting with my friends about Watchmen, the art of the trade sale, and all the other random, beautiful things we talk about. It's not usual to talk to the other customers of the store. In fact, it's a welcome event when a new person joins in the conversation. But unlike those who talk and walk, this woman chose to accompany us to the food court and for an evening of talk and mall food.

Ask and ye shall receive.

A Question...

2009-02-05T19:58:00.003-05:00

Why doesn't DC want my money?

Give It A Chance: The Amazing Spider-Man

2009-02-04T22:26:00.006-05:00

Yes, One More Day was THE stupidest story in Spider-Man history. Not only does Mary Jane make a deal with Mephisto(the most trustworthy person in the Marvel U), but Mephisto makes a deal for the lamest reason I ever heard of. So one guy feels bad whenever he sees a woman who stays out of his life? What is that worth, truly, even in a suffering denomination? And I won't get started on why Peter would trade the rest of his married life for a woman who has to be five years from death. Yes, she raised you but bringing her back to life wouldn't keep her out of the hell his life had become. Jesus, that was stupid.

Damn, I'm ranting. What this post is about is that from that steaming pile, something beauty grew, the new era of Amazing Spider-Man. It's more than just a return to past greatness, it's great new stories. Old characters are revitalized in this series. The rise of Norman Osborn, defense czar, has roots in New Ways To Die, where Osborn sics the Thunderbolts on Spider-Man and Eddie Brock returns as Anti-Venom with the usual Venom powers but with the ability to heal people of their "poisons". I initially balked at the idea of Anti-Venom, but the story was great with Spider-Man dealing with the 'Bolts and two dueling Venoms and a confrontation between crazy Norman and a maybe crazy, resurrected Harry Osborn. Awesomeness.

With Mark Waid, Dan Slott, Joe Kelly and Marc Guggenheim running point on this series, Amazing Spider-Man has become one of the best written series published by Marvel (and if anyone makes some kind of joke about Marvel's writing, remember DC keeps giving books to Bruce Jones). Peter has his wit back and even with his bad luck, isn't going through the depressing crap that characterized the book from the 90's to OMD. His supporting cast has been expanded, giving him the grounding he's been sorer lacking for some time now. I don't remember a clear time when Amazing Spider-Man was as big a draw for me since McFarlane was on the title.

It's a great time to be reading Amazing and anyone out there who been holding back because of One More Day or the lackluster to good years before it, I challenge you to read New Ways To Die or any of the Brand New Day storylines and still stay away. Yes, it was bad before but good times are here again.

The One Where I Was Inspired By Monster Vag

2009-01-30T17:26:00.038-05:00

This Wednesday, a small contingent of the usual gang who go to Fantom were eating at the Capitol Grill and somehow got onto the subject of vampire sex. I say somehow, but even when there are like ten of us, the subject of weird sex is bound to come up at least once.

Having read the Necroscope series by Brian Lumley, I was able to freak out PJ, Kay and Gerald with, by far, one of the grossest depictions of "sex" we as a collective have ever heard. Along with a movie about a young woman who grows teeth in an inappropriate place, the idea formed in my head to make a movie about a 'Monster Vag', that swallows men whole and grows twenty feet tall. The movie would be filled with double entendres and Jensen Ackles pounding vag.

But that brainstorming session was just the inspiration I needed to start working on this oft-neglected hobby of mine. Just collecting the thoughts in my head made me want to write something, and let's face it, Monster Vag would have to be the world's first internet exclusive movie to see release. So, I decided to write something for here and I got some random stuff for ya:

I'm wondering if the last panel of this book was Ed Brubaker giving a shout-out to The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum. There a forum in which I could ask him?

As the dust settles from Final Crisis, I am pleased that Grant Morrison broke the cycle of Crises from DC. FC changes nothing history-wise. It's a characterwide crossover that only required you to read Superman Beyond 3-D mini(the greatest metatextual ending in comics), which makes sense since(sense squared) Morrison wrote that as well. It's like the original Secret Wars, except with Frankenstein attacking a possessed Wonder Woman with a giant fire-breathing dog and an army of Supermen saving the multiverse, one of which is Barack Obama. Awesome.

As far as the Faces of Evil covers go, the ones for Batman and Booster Gold are of dubious evil value. Catwoman can be forgiven for wanting some revenge on the guy who took her heart out in a plot against her ex-boyfriend and Enemy Ace wouldn't shoot at disabled planes. Not really evil. Deadshot isn't that evil either , but Secret Six is a great comic, especially Gail Simone's depiction of Bane as a caring father to a woman who's probably way older than himself.

I saw something on Wednesday that blew my mind, it was that insane. Apparently, Rob Liefeld is back to his Fighting American kick, the patriotic Golden Age he brought back as a bastardized version of Captain America when he was kicked off Heroes Reborn. He's leading off with Smash!, which by the cover is an obvious rip-off of Hulk. And the writer of this masterpiece:

Jeph Freakin' Loeb!

He is already writing a Hulk rip-off character for Marvel, which is one of the shittiest narratives in comics' history. Is this the project he was saving his serious Hulk material for or will Smash! achieve a level of abysmal that will cause comics to implode? I don't want to find out. I didn't even want to know this kind of convergence could exist.

Heavy Flo. Ugh.

Good News!

2009-01-20T19:00:00.003-05:00

Found on Amazon.com

Good times are here again.

Hey Big Mike!

2008-12-16T19:42:00.007-05:00

That.

Just.

Happened.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

2008-11-24T20:08:00.004-05:00

I found out today that Twilight has the record for the biggest weekend opening for a movie directed by a woman. No offense to Twilight fans, but I cannot abide that. Next week, Punisher War Zone comes out and I think that would be a more worthy holder of the record.

Simply put, I want the movie with the biggest weekend opening for a female director to be an ultraviolent spectacle. With your help, I believe this goal can be accomplished.

Heroes

2008-11-17T22:12:00.001-05:00

Did they just swipe a scene from the Watchmen trailer?

Judd Winick's Playbook

2008-11-17T21:24:00.005-05:00

1. Take a character or characters.

2. They introduce(or reintroduce) themselves in various ways(some kind of sex joke throw in.)

3. Surprise! Someone dies!

Surprise! Someone appears!

4. The main character(s) reacts, maybe a fight ensues.

5. Surprise! Something weird happens!

6. Main character(s) react to this new occurrence or arrival, fit it with the earlier Surprise!(Repeat lines 5 & 6 at least twice)

7. Surprise! A half reveal or yet another surprise guest! By this time most readers are getting bored so it has to be SHOCKING(more than likely CONFUSING).

8. Main character(s) ramp up the violence and are SURPRISEd when the true menace is revealed. The heroes triumph but...

9. SURPRISE! Something is not quite right with one of the characters and the new storyline has begun.

Comic Stereotypes

2008-11-16T00:50:00.004-05:00

No, I'm not going to talk about my dissatisfaction with Native American superheroes or why Black Racer's suit is blue & grey. No, today I want to get something off my mind that's been bugging me for awhile, especially after reading Teen Titans for the past two years.

There are story elements to every character that I realize will always pop up. Sherlock needs his blow, Spidey has it tough, Batman is a bit of a control freak. It's to be expected in a continuing series that certain elements remain consistent. How many times has a friend of yours hooked up with someone who they break up with three months later? How many times have you had to remind your drunk friend he can't hold his booze? Recurrence is natural.

There are however some story elements that writers continue on with characters that have nothing to do with the characters' personalities, just with people's stereotypical view of the characters. Like with Teen Titans, The Judas Contract was a great story about the Titans being infiltrated by Terra, who posed as an ally, but was really working for Deathstroke. Great read, check it out when you can(the cartoon has a bastardized version I don't recommend to anyone who wants to keep their high opinion of teenagers). While this could have easier been a onetime or just one of three cases type of thing, we have now been thrown two storylines in two years about a Titan Traitor. Like we, the readers, were waiting for it to happen. It's a lame kind of storytelling were an outstanding story element of a popular storyline has become ingrained into the title by dent of writers trying to recapture the feel of the popular story.

Think of how people view the X-Men and the emo tone of the last three X-Men crossovers. The X-Men didn't start out with depressing storylines and to be truthful, the characters had their share of fun inbetween the drama that people remember most from the Claremont/Byrne years. Now, though, it seems an X-Men story has to be overly emotional week after week, like that was always the case with X-Men stories. There were freaking X-Babies and bar fights in X-Men before the 90's screwed them up.

Just take a look at any random Spider-Man book from the 90's and you can see that hard luck Spidey's life was turned into a miserable existence where pretty much everyone he loved was killed and he could barely make it out the front door before something bad happened. Yes, the classic Spider-Man stories had him broke or missing a date with Gwen, but that's yards and miles different from being told you're a clone, having you're child being stillborn, your wife leaving you and then having your wife being blown up on a commercial airliner.

I like it when old stories are relevant to a current storyline, and I like when characters have certain quirks and things like that pop time and again. What I don't need is yet another Rogue loses control of her powers or Raven scared of her Trigon heritage story. It's lame because not only was it done before, the story goes in the same way with only a few differences to mark one story from the other. We need progression, something that stays true to the characters. Think of the Justice Society of America, who were a team of superheroes like any other but now are mentors for emerging superheroes. It marks a reasonable change and opens up for new stories.

Had to vent a little. WizKids was shut down, now HeroClix may be no more. Sucks.

Overcome Your Obstacles

2008-11-13T20:20:00.003-05:00

Spider-Man does.

Don't Let Racists Get You Down

2008-11-08T10:42:00.002-05:00

Smack them in the face!

Brand New Day

2008-11-05T22:30:00.006-05:00

No, John Cassaday is not drawing Amazing Spider-Man, but that picture is badass. Anyway, I more wanted to talk about the brand spanking new Cap, Bucky.

Since returning as a brainwashed amnesiac assassin controlled by a Russian bent on destroying America, young master Buchanan is now an independent superhero with a hot Russian assassin as his girlfriend. Quite the turnaround seeing as most Marvel heroes' lives get worse from becoming a superhero, or just in general(see Daredevil, Spider-Man, 90's X-Men, hell, even Gravity died once). And it's not just Bucky's resurgence that's been ubercool, but Captain America's villains have stepped their game up during Brubaker's. Now, Batroc can get indignant about his customer having doubts about Batroc's abilities when 9 times out of 10, Batroc would get his ass handed to him(the tenth time he'd be able to run away first). Even Faustus came back with the most impressive beard in human history. It's just an awesome time to be reinvented.

Just something I thought I'd share. Go pick up Brubaker's Captain America run or "borrow" it from a friend for keepsies. I'm not advocating stealing from friends, but they'll forgive you, so it's a victimless crime. Just saying.

And that picture had absolutely nothing to do with what I wanted to talk about. I'm just realizing that.

So People Read This Thing

2008-11-04T19:31:00.008-05:00

I feel compelled to post, as I have found out this blog has a legitimate follower. So here goes...

First off, I have no clue as to where Batman:R.I.P. is headed. Does that bother me? Not in the least, other than the fact that I really like the idea of being able to guess where Grant Morrison is taking a story without doing shrooms. So far, the only problem I have with the story is Tony Daniel's art which I find bland.

The story is so out there, I love it. Batman has a backup personality in case of emergency. That's genius. And a criminal mastermind who loads up the hero with heroin and throws him into the street? Red Arrow would be afraid of him. The last bit of dialogue from #5 isn't quite firing any synapses in my mind, but I can't wait to see how it ends.

There's a reason I don't read Young X-Men, X-Force or X-Men Legacy, yet do read Uncanny X-Men and Astonishing X-Men. It's because the former titles are too damned emo. Even X-Force, which has more stabbings than New Jersey, is filled to the brim with forced drama. Those three titles represent the stereotypical X-Men stories filled with characters either filled with grief, rage or self-hate.

Uncanny X-Men and Astonishing X-Men, on the other hand, are more great titles with the X-Men shown not as the dour protectors of a dying breed, but as, well, the exciting protectors of a dying breed. It may not seem like much, but to have Cyclops and Emma Frost flirting with each other while chasing down Empath on a motorcycle is just what the X-Men needed to break a cycle of mood-killing stories.

I don't know what Amadeus' problem is. There's no better wingman than Hercules.

Jeph Loeb was fired from Heroes. Having read both Hulk and Ultimates 3, I can only see this as a good sign.

Here's where I usually promise to post more often, and then don't. So I won't. Instead, I leave you with my favorite scene from Secret Invasion. It's one of the most poignant things Brian Bendis has ever written.

Belated

2008-10-11T07:34:00.004-04:00

I should have made this post three months ago, but now is as good a time as any. Two years back, having acquired the complete collection of Who's Who, I made a few posts including one about who I would like to see make a reappearance. Thanks to Gail Simone, one of those wishes came true.

Stalker, in all his evil Peter Pan glory, made a return in Wonder Woman during the Ends Of The Earth storyline. Even though he was the main villain in the JSA All-Stars mini-series, he showed up in golden armor. Menacing, sure, but it takes a special kind of man to be a badass in this leafy number. So, thank you, Gail.

For Your Consideration...

2008-08-09T09:31:00.003-04:00

It's All Been Done Before(Or At The Same Time)

2008-08-02T23:27:00.009-04:00

Remember how Deep Impact and Armageddon came out around the same time? It was weird.

Even weirder, there are four series this year about Golden Age(World War II era) superheroes finding themselves in the present. Even if the same guy is on two of the books(not Dynamic Man, though he, too, is in two of the series), it is still kind of overkill to have four books sharing the same premise. The only saving grace is that all four are actually interesting and worthy of being rated on a rarely updated blog. So here we go:

4. There has to be one in last place, but don't let that mislead you. I have rededicated myself to cutting the chaff out of my pull list so I no longer keep with a series to the end even if it reaches Countdown level of crap.

Avengers/Invaders is at the bottom because it has yet to wow me, even though it has such potential with a timeslipped Captain America in a world after Cap was assassinated. Everyone comments on Cap's "return", but no one has yet confronted Cap with the revelation that he is now deceased and the circumstances behind it. A fight between Namors aside, the only other thing I truly loved about the series is commando Bucky hiding explosives in his leg. Hardcore.

3. Project Superpowers is a great story about superhero The Fighting Yank getting duped into trapping his comrades in a mystical urn to prevent the spread of evil, only to (surprise!) leave the US unprotected against the former hero D(ynamic)-Man and his Dynamic Family subverting the government and pretty much turning things to shit. He finally releases his former colleagues when he's in his nineties and they are all slightly annoyed about being trapped for sixty years and missing out on the lives of their love ones.

Not only does this series bring back the awesomely costumed Black Terror, but the superheroes are not awakening to the modern 'real' world, but one where the bodies of dead soldiers are used as zombie troopers and the Dynamic Family have become the ruling class of the United States. It's more action-oriented and seems to be the setup for future books, because they have a lot of work ahead of them.

2. I was surprised at how much I liked Number of the Beast. Having read Wildstorm Armageddon and Dark Revelations, I was prepared for another setup miniseries but the story of the Golden Age Wildstorm heroes who went missing after the bombing of Hiroshima is not only messed up, but also well-paced and intriguing.

The return of The High is what hooked me into this series, but just the personality and background details put into these characters who pretty much debuted in this series is amazing. It is still a setup series, but a well written one, and if more crossover tie-ins were as good as NOTB, we probably wouldn't complain about them as much. Just a wee less.

1. J. Michael Stracynski's The Twelve is the top dog of reawakened WWII heroes stories because (1) it's just a better story and (2) it's the B-league of heroes, the guys people outside their city of operations wouldn't recognize. While Captain America and the Invaders were storming Nazi headquarters, these guys raided some Count's laboratory and were put into suspended animation for their troubles. Upon waking up, they're recruited by the military to promote government-sponsored heroes and have to deal with the lives they slept through.

The best thing, to me, about the series is the way Stracynski incorporates the original Golden Age stories of these characters, especially when some of them don't make a lick of sense, and drama pulled from life in the 40's. Again, it's the complexity of the characters that makes this such a good series. Add to that a murder mystery and another Dynamic Man appearance(who must have been a real asshole in his original series) and you get the Best Golden Age Heroes Reawakening Series.

Honor Among Thieves

2008-07-16T22:03:00.004-04:00

One of (if not)the best things about Geoff Johns' run of The Flash was his reinvention of Flash's Rogues Gallery. Led by Captain Cold, the Rogues had code and direction: get rich quick and don't piss off the heroes. While not the noblest of ideals, it set the Rogues apart from the rogues gallery of other heroes, who would as soon kill each other as work together. They fall into that criminal category of guys who just couldn't work in normal society, but aren't complete sociopaths.

I was dismayed that Johns' characterization lasted all of a month before it was thrown out the window, culminating in the Rogues killing Bart Allen for the lamest reason: they didn't want to go back to jail. As if no one will realize that Flash was killed by the Rogues after publicly fighting the Rogues two minutes earlier.

With Final Crisis: Rogues' Revenge, Geoff Johns is bringing the Rogues back to form. Hopefully it will stick this time.

P.S.
I would love to read an Ed Brubaker Rogues story. LOVE.

Calling All DC Women!!!(says me with bullhorn)

2008-06-26T23:05:00.004-04:00

Okay, so today, in celebration of my remembering that I have a blog, I am using the power signing up for a free webpage has given me to help out a friend in need. Every other Sunday(next one June 29th), at 1722 14th St. NW, between R and S Sts., there is a comic discussion group for women. The meetings are hosted by the ever-friendly Lauren, a comics fan and enthusiast.

So if you like comics, want to talk about your favorites, and have two x-chromosomes, make it down to 1722 14th St. NW, between R and S Sts., and have yourself a good time. Any questions, e-mail Rambo@bigmonkeycomics.com (The Bo, as we call him) and he will give you directions, meeting dates & times, his favorite chips, anything.

I'm helping!

Gerber, Baby!

2008-05-27T17:52:00.005-04:00

I just read the last issue of Countdown to Mystery today and I have to admit it made me smile. Like Tales of the Unexpected, I had no use for the Spectre story, but the Dr. Fate Steve Gerber tale had me impressed. Sadly, Gerber died and was unable to finish his story. In a very weird gesture, DC decided to have not one, two or three writers finish it, but four.

The ending I liked the most was by Adam Beechen. It not only set up further tales for the new Dr. Fate and his associates, but gave us the return of one Gerber's greatest creations. I refer to, of course,

ELF WITH A GUN

Thank you, Gerber, for your wonderful whimsy.

Not To Harp On McKeever, But...

2008-05-02T16:34:00.005-04:00

Really? Superheroes don't forge documents?

So everyone in his precinct knows John Jones is actually J'Onn J'Onzz?

So DEO knew Diana Prince was Wonder Woman the whole time they were looking to apprehend her?

How did Supergirl manage to enroll herself in high school?

Doesn't Oracle hack into federal databases on an hourly basis?

C'mon, McKeever, you are better than this forced bit of drama.

I Want A New Captain Marvel Book

2008-05-01T23:21:00.007-04:00

You know what really bugged me? The Power of SHAZAM!

Yes, it was a great series that brought not only the Marvel Family back, but just a touch of the innocent fun back to the character. Yeah, Cap, Jr. kept running off, but even in his Golden Age years, he was meant to be just a bit separate from the Big Red Cheese. Anyway, it just bugged me that Captain Marvel, one of the greatest characters DC ever bought, couldn't have his name in the title. Impulse had his name emblazoned on a book and he didn't get really popular till the series started.

The title needs to be shared. Marvel hadn't used the title Captain Marvel since that one-shot in '89 starring Monica Rambeau. If only they could do some kind of Amalgam deal and release a $3.99 double feature series starring both characters in their respective universes, so no one loses out and both characters get equal face-time.

Passion of The Warlock

2008-04-24T18:07:00.004-04:00

Jim Starlin had a story to tell and it only took eighteen years to do it.

In 1973, in Iron Man #55, Jim Starlin debuted Thanos & Drax the Destroyer, two characters he thought up in psychology class. What started as a throwaway story blossomed into one of the longest running sagas in Marvel history. A lover of Death incarnate, Thanos was in search of power, enough to wipe out all life in the universe as a gift to his one true love. He would come into conflict with many of Marvel cosmic heroes including his father and brother, Mentor and Starfox; the guardian of the universe, Captain Mar-vell; Drax, who was created by Mentor with the body of Moondragon's father to kill Thanos; the Avengers, the Thing and even Spider-Man.

But it was the Jack Kirby created, Roy Thomas revamped Adam Warlock who would become Thanos' greatest threat. A genetically created "perfect man", Warlock spent so time defending Counter-Earth before journeying out to the stars in Starlin's "The Magus Saga" which ran through Strange Tales #178-181(1975) and in Warlock #9-15(1975-6). While Magus, an evil, future version of Adam Warlock, was the main villain of that storyline, Thanos gets involved to help Warlock defeat Magus, who Thanos believes is a bigger threat to his own plans.

With Magus defeated, Thanos sets his own plan into motion, assembling the Soul Gems to use their combined power to control the universe. He wrests the Gems from the Elders and is able to take the Soul Gem from Adam Warlock's corpse, a death he engineered to get rid of the Magus. Thanos is almost successful, until Spider-Man frees the spirit of Adam Warlock from the Soul Gem, who imprisons Thanos in stone, as told in Avengers Annual #7 and Marvel Two-in-One Annual #2(1977).

Not content with the story so far, Starlin 'resurrected' Thanos in Silver Surfer vol. 3 #34(1990) and sent him again in search of the Infinity Gems in Thanos Quest #1-2. He succeeds, places the Gems onto his left gauntlet and brings us to Infinity Gauntlet, the 1991 Marvel-wide crossover that gave us the definitive story of Thanos and his mad quest, which saw the resurrection of Adam Warlock and his friends, Gamorra and Pip the Troll, the death of half the universe, and the last stand of Captain America(makes more sense when you read it).

Say what you will about Jim Starlin and his work(and I have), but the man has passion and the drive to get a story in print.

Twenty Years

2008-04-22T22:48:00.003-04:00

That's how long I've been reading comics, more or less.

No real reason for this post. I just thought of this and realized comics are pretty much the only thing I still like from when I was five. Comics, and girls.

McKeever Needs A New Playbook

2008-03-26T21:55:00.003-04:00

Sean McKeever, you come onto Teen Titans after Geoff Johns' Titans East storyline, follow it up with Titans Tomorrow Today and now present us with the Terror Titans. Did it occur to you that all these evil Titans teams might become tedious after, say, the second group? How much reader interest do you think there is in the Clock King?

Please try a different tack? I'll ready to drop this series from my pull list, and I'm the guy waiting for a new Sentinel mini-series.

Maybe I'm Being Too Harsh

2008-03-24T00:52:00.003-04:00

As Easter has come and gone, I had a chance to reflect. In this moment of introspection, I wondered if maybe I was a little too harsh about the work of Bruce Jones. I mean, I only read his Incredible Hulk and Nightwing runs and the OMAC mini series, so maybe there was a series out there that was actually good that I missed.

Was I wrong? Is there good material out there? Apparently, a story he wrote in '74 was made into one of those Masters of Horror films, so maybe it's just his superhero work that is dreck.

You tell me.

I Had A Weird Thought

2008-03-21T19:59:00.006-04:00

In last week's Thunderbolts, there was a moment that caused me to think something I never thought I would. The moment was this:

Upon seeing this, I thought,"Man, it would be awesome if Speedball came back." Then, I thought, "I think it would be awesome if Speedball came back." It threw me because I was not a Speedball fan at anytime from his debut up to his near-death experience in Civil War and his full-emo experience in Civil War: Frontline. He was just a goofball character Steve Ditko made before bowing out.

It took lead-handed Paul Jenkins to make me care about Speedball. If I didn't so greatly hate every aspect of Penance, I wouldn't get excited for the return of Speedball. Well, Warren Ellis deserves the credit, since Jenkins would more than likely keep Robbie Baldwin as Penance forever, which would suck.

Oh, and read Thunderbolts. It's excellent.

To DC Comics,

2008-03-19T22:09:00.004-04:00

You suck.

For, but not limited to, the reasons listed here, DC Comics has been found guilty of publishing utter shite and taking the company-wide crossover into over-bloated insanity.

For saddling Will Pfieffer and Dwayne McDuffie with lame tie-ins while they are a perfect fit for the books they're writing. No one cares about Salvation Run, we want Catwoman running the East End and a good Justice League story.
For giving Bruce Jones work.
For Countdown. Garbage.
For Infinity Man being the New God Killer. I'm sorry if that spoils it for you, but since they made it so damn easy to figure it out, you shouldn't be surprised. I mean, really, frickin' Infinity Man? Who didn't guess that and think, "It can't be Infinity Man. That's too easy." Fuck you, Stalin.
For replacing Greg Rucka with Bruce Jones on Checkmate.
For Trials of Shazam! and the fact that a twelve issue mini-series hasn't ended fifteen months later. And the hack job Winick did on Captain Marvel, Billy Batson & Freddie Freeman. Save your magic scripts for Juniper Lee and give us the superhero Captain Marvel is supposed to be.
For bringing back The War That Time Forgot and having it written by Bruce Jones.
For Gotham Underground being a prelude to Salvation Run but coming out at the same time.
For The Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul. What's the point if Ra's gets drugged and locked in Arkham the very next month?
For A.J. Curry-Aquaman talking down to Superman & Batman. That was just crap.
For the Forerunner back-up in Countdown to Adventure. Ugh.
For the Eclipso back-up in Countdown to Mystery. What the hell is that, some filed away crap you just decided to throw on the back of Dr. Fate?

Geoff Johns:King of the Multitaskers

2008-02-28T23:32:00.006-05:00

While picking up the many loose threads left by Brad Meltzer from the hideous Lightning Saga , Geoff Johns still has the time to give a shout out to Brian Azzarello.

Awwww, The Dibnys Are Back!

2008-02-21T20:02:00.005-05:00

WHAT?!?

2008-02-08T23:57:00.000-05:00

He did not just say that.

Oh my gods, he did.

Continuity Spisis, Spiderisis, However You Want To Smush Spider & Crisis

2008-01-22T18:37:00.000-05:00

Three weeks into "Brand New Day" and the one thing most of the people I've talked to about the new SpiderQuo are still stuck on is how "One More Day" completely screwed up Marvel continuity. It is the number one thing I still think about, no matter how good a job Dan Slott and Steve McNiven have done so far. But this guy isn't just going to complain. He's going to do something about it.

By this guy, I mean me.

Here for Slott, Steve Wacker, Joe Quesada, and the rest of the people who still care about Your Friendly Neighborhood Web-slinger are ten continuity fixes thought of by yours truly that might help to explain how Mephisto's deal changed Spider-Man(& Marvel in general) history.

1. Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson were set to marry until Peter got cold feet when his best friend Harry Osborn divorced his wife Liz Allan. Peter and Mary Jane tried for awhile to make it work but Mary Jane was never able to forgive Peter's decision to stop the marriage.

2. Without Normie to bring up the issues he had with his father, Harry Osborn was never pushed over the edge into taking over as Green Goblin. Free of marriage commitments, Harry devoted himself to taking over his father's company and womanizing.

3. Spider-Man joins the New Avengers a year after serving a brief stint with the Avengers where he gained the trust and respect of Captain America. Not having a family to follow him to Avengers Mansion, he never reveals his secret identity to the New Avengers. Jigsaw does not break his arm during the Raft prison break because that would be impossible. And why the hell was Jigsaw in a supervillain prison, anyway?

4. During the press conference where Spider-Man was set to reveal his identity to the public, the building was attacked by the Sinister Six. Electro shorted out the electricity in the room, cutting the lights and newsfeed before Spidey's identity was revealed.

5. Before another press conference could be arranged, Spidey learned of the Prison 42 and the other crazy ideas Stark, Richards, and Pym came up with and decided to join the Anti-Registration side.

6. The Spider-Clone is still in that smokestack.

7. Staying with the Anti-Reg side, Spidey redons his black costume to for it's stealth, rather than other emo reasons. Since he's no longer with MJ, his donning of the suit that haunted MJ's dreams is no longer seen as insensitive.

8. Black Cat, joins the Pro-Registration side to get closer to Spidey, but stays because she feels it gains her a measure of respectability after her past criminal activities. Spidey, while disapproving of her choice, still sees Black Cat for a round of Keep-The-Masks-On, when the mood strikes.

9. Gwen Stacy never has pity sex with Norman Osborn. I don't know what that story was supposed to do or what, but it made me throw up in my mouth a little. She does have pity sex with Peter Parker.

10. Flash Thompson never goes to Vietnam, dates Felicia Hardy or falls into a coma after being set up for drunk driving by Green Goblin. In this new reality, Flash was a grade A douche until he had to take a cross country road trip with a nerdy, but beautiful art major who teaches him compassion and acceptance. And the Shocker.

Comics Not So Cool So Far

2008-01-14T21:34:00.000-05:00

I wanted to post earlier but Saturday I was able to play something like eight hours of HeroClix in the Cave of Gyuss Baaltar, so I was pretty wiped for awhile. And then some of the books I read this week have really hurt my head.

Like this one. It was written by Bob Haney, for gods' sakes. Nevermind the Space Beatles vs. Primal Hippies, the Wonder Girl presented in this is one of the worst examples of sexism I have ever seen. It's kind of jarring, what with Donna falling for some warrior and wanting to marry him and fighting against the Titans for him.

In Punisher War Journal, I was kind of able to accept the new, inexplicably crazy Aloysius Kraven, even though he has a brother who was already following in the original Kraven's footsteps. But in the interlude with G.W. Bridge assembling a new Six Pack, Matt Fraction gives us a Silver Sable who's now a second rate Black Cat. Inexplicably! The series up to this point has been awesome, but it's these weird touches to jam characters into the storyarc that leave me bleh.

Hulk #1. Now, I'll pretty much enjoy anything drawn by Ed McGuinness. Bulky physiques and all, the man knows how to draw an action sequence. Now anything written by Jeph Loeb, that's a toss up, thrown a little too far to the left. Leonard Samson starting a fight with Russian superheroes because of jurisdiction issues and this splash page make me think Loeb has lost whatever it was that made his name memorable.

Cool Stuff So Far

2008-01-10T20:13:00.000-05:00

Peter Tomasi and Rags Morales are poised to bring Nightwing back in a big way. As a long time fan of Nightwing who was wondering why Tim Drake got his own series first, Nightwing was a welcome addition to my long boxes. Only problem was that after Chuck Dixon left, writer after writer failed to present Nightwing as he should be presented. They made him Batman-Lite, giving him so many problems and fits of depression that he wasn't recognizable as Dick Grayson, the circus acrobat who was the personality opposite of Batman. Batman was grim and serious, Grayson was happy and playful. Right from the start, we get that Dick Grayson back and after two years in New York, Tomasi has Grayson setting down real roots, not working as a male model. I think anyone who thought Didio was right should take a look at this book and eat their words.

This is the most honest idea ever presented in a DC comic. If someone you loved was dying, you would yell for the same person.

Geoff Johns Just Can't Help Himself

2008-01-07T18:33:00.001-05:00

If 2007 Had A Face, I'd Kick It In The Balls

2008-01-06T23:03:00.000-05:00

Kind of late, I know, but I wanted to talk about what I enjoyed the most about 2007 before the year glazed over in my mind.

10. Green Arrow and Black Canary - From the start Judd Winick pretty much redeemed his less than stellar end runs of Outsiders and Green Arrow with just a few issues of this series. It's well-paced, hilarious, and made me really interested in this GA/BC Family. Throw in Cliff Chiang fresh from Doctor 13 & Bonesaw Batman and you have a winning series.

09. Best Miniseries of 2007: Wisdom (Yes, it started in 2006, but it was mainly 2007)
Let me make this clear, I didn't like Pete Wisdom at all before this miniseries was released. A mutant, cynical version of James Bond, he struck me as a really inane character and completely wrong as the guy Kitty Pryde would choose over Colossus. He sucked. But in this miniseries by Paul Cornell and Trevor Hairsine, Wisdom is now the head of MI-13, the supernatural division of British Intelligence. Now handling every extraordinary threat to the British Isles, Wisdom has his own crew of misfits, which include a fairy, Captain Midlands, and a Skrull who looks (and acts) like John Lennon. Their foes are weird, their methods trippy and their relationships are dysfunctional. It's a great story and it gives Pete Wisdom more real personality than he's ever had. Enough to make me want to read another series, if Cornell is handling it.

08. Best Character 180: Prince Ambrose, formerly known as Flycatcher in Fables
Ambrose was the janitor of the Mayor's office since Fables began, a sweet natured man who needed constant busy work in order to keep from turning back into a frog. But destiny would lead this simple man into becoming the greatest threat to the Emperor of the Fablelands ever. Guided by the spirit of Sir Lancelot, clad in golden armor, and wielding the great Excalibur, Ambrose would travel through the Witching Well gathering an army of spirits to claim a piece of the Homelands as his own.

07. Biggest Letdown: DC Comics
For all the good titles DC has brought out this year(Booster Gold, Jonah Hex, Black Adam), they also churned out some of the lamest crap of the year. Countdown, no matter how much fixing they're trying to do now, sucked 26 issues straight and its spin-offs pretty much sucked en masse. Amazons Attack!, every issue of Wonder Woman to come out not written by Gail Simone, and disappointing runs from Dwayne McDuffie on Justice League of America and Sean McKeever on Teen Titans pretty much round out what was just a poorly managed year for DC.

That being said, 2008 may just be Marvel's year to really screw up now that One More Day is over and completely freaked up the continuity of the last twenty years of Spider-Man history and the last four years of Marvel stories.

06. Most Surprising Good: Avengers:The Initiative
After Civil War, I had low expectations for the series that would directly handle the fallout of the Superhuman Registration. I regard Dan Slott as a talented writer, but then again, I regarded Mark Millar as one as well. But whereas Millar seemed to lack a real understanding of the characters he was tossing around, Slott displays a true grasp of the characters he's writing and can really play the characters off of each other. He also handles the pros and cons of Registration deftly, at once giving readers a look at how beneficial training is to young and new heroes, but also the drawbacks of involving politics in superheroics.

05. Best Metaphor goes to Jon Carey for Marvel is like a high school lunch room, with Avengers at the jock table and the X-Men in the drama club, getting mono from each other.

04. Best Character of 2007: MVP of Avengers:The Initiative
Despite being killed during a training session in the first issue of the series, the most interesting character to come out of Avengers:The Initiative is Michael van Patrick, the peak of human perfection(via diet and exercise) whose clones are known as the Scarlet Spiders. Despite mental commands, the Scarlet Spiders begin to act independently, as the corpse of MVP is seen smiling. Now, a new clone is shown menacing a battle ravaged Yellowjacket with an extraterrestrial gun arm. Slott is building his first storyarc around this character and its one interesting ride.

03. Best Batman Story of 2007: Batman #667-669 featuring The Club of Heroes
"Be assured. The Black Glove is a seal of absolute quality and ruthlessness."

Anything you could possibly love about Batman is thrown into this storyline of reunion and murder where the Club of Heroes, a group of crimefighters inspired by the Batman are systematically executed one by one on the night Batman returns after the Club was founded. Emotions are running high as these heroes come to terms with not achieving the level of notoriety as Batman, deal with old rivalries and try to avoid being killed by a killer who gives old school villainy a 21st century makeover. Brilliantly illustrated by J.H. Williams III, this three part storyline is Grant Morrison at his best, taking what was dismissed as Silver Age absurdity and making it one of the coolest stories of the year. Just a observation, trying to beat Batman at a mystery, not smart.

02. Best Crossover of the past ten years: The Sinestro Corps War
From the start Geoff Johns threw his whole cinematic storytelling expertise into this series, putting together an all-star team of black hats that made you slightly uncertain whether the white hats had enough chops to win this war. Sinestro, an army of yellow ring sadists, Cyborg Superman, an army of yellow energy Manhunters, Parallax inhabiting Torchbearer Kyle Rayner's body, the Anti-Monitor, and everyone's favorite psychotic teenager Superboy-Prime. It was daunting to say the least, and the story would not let up. Green Lanterns fell, littering space with rings searching for new bearers, and even the new lethal force law seemed to be of little consequence with the Sinestro Corps assault on the center of the multiverse taking the Guardians by surprise. And in the midst of this, you get just a bit of what fuels Superboy-Prime and realize he may be the most dangerous of them all.

The series was so well done, it needs it's own list. Top Ten of the Sinestro Corps War:
10. What killed Kyle Rayner's mother
09. What saved Guy Gardner
08. The new Ion and his homeworld
07. The City Without Fear
06. The Bizarro Lantern
05. Cyborg Superman gets what he wants, for awhile
04. Superboy-Prime vs. Every Superhero There Is
03. Handicap Match: Sinestro vs. Hal Jordan & Kyle Rayner
02. Sinestro wins
01. This was only the beginning

01. Best single issue of a series: Astonishing X-Men #23
No one throws a curve like Joss Whedon. After the previous issue's sacrifice, Cyclops is resurrected by Kruun of Breakworld and Kruun wants information. Withstanding immense torture, a powerless Cyclops shows that he is the rock of the X-Men because he will not break. Concerned about "Leviathan," the X-Men's backup plan, Kruun interrogates Cyclops harshly and only gets the truth after threatening to dice up Armor, currently imprisoned with Wolverine. There is no "Leviathan," and last issue's end conversation was just to throw off the listening enemy, while the X-Men put their real plan into place, which included Wolverine and Armor being captured. Sick of lies, Kruun strangles Cyclops and asks, "What other lies have you told!?!" The answer was the first, honest to God time I ever cheered for a comic book character.

More Theories

2008-01-03T19:20:00.000-05:00

I think it's time once again to post my theories on the direction of Countdown to Final Crisis, with the emphasis more on Death of the New Gods.

As of Death of the New Gods #4, it has been shown that the killer of the New Gods was a primitive being who has been empowered by some unknown agent. This person didn't previously have power even approaching that of the New God Killer and seems to have been Anthro(maybe). The only idea I can come up with as to the identity of the benefactor of the Killer is that it's some kind of "anti-"Source or maybe a death god of Earth tradition like Neron or Satannus. I based this solely on the soul butterflies that the Killer pulls from the New Gods he kills. Souls manifesting as butterflies is found in many religions, including Egyptian and Gaelic.

However, Metron's dream and Mister Miracle's Anti-Life form, make me think it could be an aspect of an "Anti-Death Equation" or some other opposite of the Anti-Life Equation and in turn, an opposite of the Source. Since you have to pierce the Source Wall to learn the Anti-Life Equation, a Source opposite would have it's own Equation to be learned inside of it.

As far Jimmy's powers is concerned, Forager's recognition of the Source in Jimmy's eyes leads me to believe that Jimmy is being used as a conduit of the Source, as whoever created the New God Killer is blocking the Source from it's usual pathways. Jimmy's previous run-ins with the New Gods, as well as his unassuming presence, makes him the best non-New God agent to work through. The Source is maybe using him as an opposite of the New God Killer and may have Jimmy fight the Killer in the end.

More than likely these were the conclusions Stalin wanted the readers to come to, but it makes me less preoccupied with the mystery if I tell other people what I think so far.

Getting It Together

2007-12-29T08:41:00.001-05:00

It's been awhile since I posted regularly and that needs to change. And there's no better way for me to get in the game than to mouth off about what I didn't like. Then switch it up and to keep you on your toes.

Anyone else confused about what the hell McKeever's Titans of Tomorrow Today storyline was about? That ending made no sense and it invalidated how the future Titans were defeated in the first place. A lot of things blew up and feelings were hurt but the whole story seemed lacking.

Leave it Marvel to make the world's coolest bionic arm. If there's any world that should have the best mechanical prosthesis, it's the one with the 70's ex-patrol cop with a cybernetic arm.

Anyone else realize that if you take the backup stories out of Countdown to Adventure and Countdown to Mystery, they would have nothing to do with Countdown to Final Crisis? And that eight issues seems like a way to squeeze an extra $6 out of you than actually being needed to tell the story?

Dan Slott is very subversive. Avengers:The Initiative, while showing heroes being trained to handle volatile situations also gives readers the reasons why Captain America was so adamant against registration. Marvel government can't be trusted, at all. With Gyrich, government douche extraordinaire scheming every panel he shows up in and Hank Pym to overwhelmed to put his foot down, you can tell it's only a matter of time before it all blows up in their face. And not just by gun arm MVP.

And the MVP clones in Iron Spider costumes called Scarlet Spiders? Awesome and ironic.

One More Day? Rather than talk about the story itself, which every comic blogger on the internet is probably doing, I want to talk about what the story feels like to me. It feels like a DC story. Not to say being a DC type of story is a bad thing, but a history rewrite to "set things right"? DC does that every ten years, and it's usually fun. One More Day was not "fun" at all, and Marvel is not the place continuity rewrites, at least not story ones.

Marvel has passive rewrites all the time, usually to keep their heroes from being forty years old. DC has their being continuity fix and then sets about reworking old stories into new continuity. That's their thing. Now Spider-Man has his classic supporting cast back, and what do you think Harry Osborn being back is going to entail? More "your father keeps trying to kill me-no, he's innocent" stories. Marvel moves forward, DC looks back. That's how it works and One More Day seems to be one for the "keep the formula" column.

Well, that should work for now. I will post more often from now on.

Big Monkey No More

2007-12-18T23:36:00.000-05:00

It's been six years since I started going to Beyond Comics 2, the comic book store now renamed Big Monkey Comics, the first comic community experience I've ever known in my twenty-three years of reading comics. I loved going there on Wednesdays for new comics, Thursdays to record a podcast and Saturdays to play HeroClix. Mostly, I went so often to see my friends who worked and/or shopped there.

It's over now.

Devon Sanders, the manager of the store for many years and owners, has been let go, due to financial mismanaging by the owners and the douchebaggery of one person in particular. With him goes many of the customers who became loyal customers due to the environment Devon encouraged. We became real friends, who talk about our lives, as well as the lives of our favorite superheroes and villains. In good conscience, we cannot support people who would treat Devon so unfairly, when he can basically run the store himself and devotes much of his time to making Big Monkey a great store.

This is my goodbye to the time I spent in that store. I don't regret any of it and only wish the store could remain as the clubhouse we've come to enjoy. But it can't. Not for me. For the foreseeable future, Fantom Comics in Union Station will be my comic book store of choice.

TV Has Made Me Happy

2007-12-02T20:09:00.000-05:00

It has occurred to me that this generation of TV writers are comic book readers. But it's not from "Heroes", "Bionic Woman", or any Sci Fi show that has me coming to this conclusion. I know those guys are geeks.

On "Numb3rs", a rare ashcan comic is stolen during a comic book convention. Not only is one of the agents an avid collector with "long boxes"(his words), but Charlie Eppes(played by David Krumholtz) gets into a discussion about comics with his friend Larry Fleinhardt(played by Peter MacNicol). Fleinhardt says that some of the characters he liked were Daredevil and the Fantastic Four, but his favorite was Galactus. When Charlie points out Galactus's diet, Fleinhardt comes back with Galactus is one of the three fundamental forces of the universe along with Death and Eternity. Not only is that the Marvel explanation for Galactus's purpose, but to even for someone to even think of Eternity requires a deep interest in Marvel comics a casual reader is likely to miss.

Last week's episode of "NCIS" began with Agent Timothy McGee(played by Sean Murray) reading an issue of the original Iron Fist series before Agent Tony DiNozzo(played by Michael Weatherly) tries to snatch it out of his hand. McGee tells Tony to "watch it. This is Iron Fist #14, the first appearance of Sabretooth." The issue shown was indeed Iron Fist #14, and not a crappy reprint. You can see the yellowed pages of the book as McGee is reading it.

On "Dexter", the serial killer drama on Showtime, Dexter was called to examine the blood spray for a murder at a comic book store. There were Heroclix all along the counters and in glass cases. It doesn't take a deep understanding of comics to display Heroclix but they are awesome. So, hooray.

More Countdown Theories

2007-11-11T23:13:00.000-05:00

Despite my many grievances with Countdown, I'm utterly fascinated by it. Obviously it's not because it's good, it's that the plot seems to be centered around almost everything Jack Kirby ever created for DC.

The most obvious known Kirby DC creations are the New Gods, and they're being systematically souljacked by a mysterious silhouette that may or may not be the Infinity Man. Add to that Darkseid is shown repeatedly scheming with his chess pieces in what must be the most complicated Risk strategy ever devised, especially since it seems to include Holly Robinson as an essential factor.

Early Kirby creations the Newsboy Legion pop up in their original lineup to help Jimmy Olsen figure out why he has those Silver Age powers(the powers are actually pre-Kirby Jimmy Olsen, but his New Gods stuff started out in that series). Their fate is up in the air because even though Countdown declared "JIMMY OLSEN MUST DIE!", that's obviously not gonna happen. What remains to be seen is if Cadmus and their many, many clones will survive the character purge Final Crisis seems to be. Lord knows Kon-El didn't survive the last one.

Command 'D', the secret hideout of the Atomic Knights who debuted in The Battle For Bludhaven, was originally the name of the bunker The Last Boy on Earth, Kamandi, was raised in and named after. Kamandi was the last boy because most of the human race was wiped out in something only refered to as The Great Disaster. For casual readers, The Great Disaster has been a long standing plot device to explain why there are no superheroes or records of the past in the future. Kamandi was raised and trained in Command 'D' by his grandfather, Buddy Blank, the original OMAC. Makes that annoying blonde kid in Countdown more interesting, doesn't it.

With Countdown only half over, there's still 6 months for more of Kirby's inventions to pop up. That boom tube Waller and the government are using to deport super-villains is probably sending them to Transilvane, the planet in the basement. It's the perfect prison and probably where Ray Palmer's been hiding out. Maybe Atlas is the guy killing off the New Gods. As a titan, he would consider himself a 'real' god. And, God willing, maybe these guys would show up for the hell of it.

Far out.

Really?

2007-11-09T13:08:00.000-05:00

Keep in mind that the rest of the characters are current character incarnations and costumes:
So what the hell is Spoiler doing there? Please, oh please, don't tell me someone took up the mantle of an incompetent gang war inciter because Spoiler was such a symbol of justice in Gotham. Because that's retarded.

In Other News,

2007-11-03T09:39:00.000-04:00

...I share my birthday with Charles Bronson, Adam Ant, Kathy Kinney, Godzilla and Roseanne Barr. I'm proud to be in the company of two of those people, one of which is a rubber suit.

Overreactions

2007-11-01T14:36:00.000-04:00

What do you do when someone saves you from being ripped apart by the Crime Society and the Extremists?

Beat the piss out of him, apparently.

I'm not a huge fan of Jason Todd the anti-hero but Donna's reaction to him saving their asses kind of makes her look like a bitch. They were outnumbered four to one and Jason managed to get them some leeway by shooting a near invulnerable woman with a low energy blaster. I'm not saying she shouldn't be pissed for being shot, but kicking him in the face was uncalled for.

What You Should Be Reading...

2007-10-26T19:25:00.000-04:00

We all know that supporting characters are put through the ringer in comic books. When their fathers are not being crushed by debris or blown up during intergalatic wars, they're being thrown off bridges or buildings and stuffed into kitchen appliances. It's rough, and becoming a little banal. It's time someone shook things up.

In Daredevil, Mister Fear wants to make sure Daredevil is too busy to stop Fear from taking Kingpin's place in the underworld. He douses Gladiator with his fear gas, making him kill at random with no memory of his episodes. While Daredevil is trying to find out the source of Gladiator's madness, he doesn't notice that Milla is becoming more and more paranoid.

While Daredevil is confronting Mister Fear and the Enforcers, Milla is confronting Mafia heiress Lily Lucca, thinking Lily is trying to steal Matt away. Lily just needs help leaving the Mafia behind, but Milla becomes violent and tries to push Lily into the path of an oncoming train, but knocks a bystander down instead. While the Enforcers pound on Daredevil, Mister Fear reveals that the same gas that turned Gladiator into an unpredictable murderer was used on Milla.

Now, Matt Murdock has to save his wife from being inprisoned in a mental ward, leaving Mister Fear to consolidate his empire without Daredevil intervention. Of course, Daredevil is hellbent on finding Fear to get an antidote to his fear agent, but I think it's an ingenious twist on the paramour in danger plot. By making Milla a danger to others, Mister Fear has Daredevil consumed in both his public and secret personas.

Brubaker is a crafty storyteller and is making Daredevil one of the best books being published.

For Ben...

2007-10-25T20:15:00.000-04:00

Whenever someone makes fun of your love of girl comics, ask them...

He's Been Turned

2007-10-20T23:12:00.000-04:00

*Thanks to Julian for the picture.

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Bored

2007-10-20T06:57:00.000-04:00

So I haven't posted for awhile. I'm contributing my lack of writing to my decision to drop energy drinks. Those sweetly disgusting caffeine bombs were my basic fuel for the past two years and now I'm trying to do without. It's taking a toll.

Anyway, I can bring myself to talk about a few things rolling in my mind right now.

1) When will someone tell Nic Klein that he's drawing the wrong Night Thrasher costume on the covers for New Warriors? He's been doing it since issue #2 and doesn't seem likely he will be changing up anytime soon, judging by the cover of #6.

2) Speaking of New Warriors, the team's(mainly Chamber's, who should know better) reaction to Tattoo's dying is confusing. What did they think was going to happen when they threw themselves between murderers and the people they intended to murder? It's one thing to not expect to die at a certain time, but to say they didn't sign on to die is plain stupidity. We want our heroes to live, but to have them completely clueless as to the dangers is kind of bad writing.

3) The Hellcat story in Marvel Comics Presents is great. The Immonens are a terrific team and the story seems like it's going to be pure fun straight through. It's the perfect story for the superhero ex-wife of the Son of Satan. I kind of wish it was it's own series. Marvel needs more books that are free of melodramatic angst. I like my heartwarming to be uplifting, not devastating.

4) For the Accursed Interloper, in All-Star Batman and Robin, The Boy Wonder, Miller introduces us to a Batman-obsessed Irish bartender who decides one day to join the fight against crime as the Black Canary. Overwhelmed while trying to stop gunrunners at Gotham Harbor, BC is saved by the insanely scary goddamned Batman, and to celebrate, the two heroes make out(more?) right there on the dock. True story.

5) After reading Wolverine #58, I only see Guggenheim digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole. To explain Wolverine's resurrection episodes, it's revealed Logan killed an Angel of Death in World War I. Okay, a supernatural explanation as to why Logan could regenerate after complete flesh destruction makes sense. But get this: it happens for every major injury past bullet wounds. If he gets stabbed in the heart, he dies. If his lungs collapse, he dies. If he gets burned, he dies. At first it seemed like Wolverine was too powerful. Now, his healing factor's weaker than Spider-Man's. At least Petey wouldn't die from a stab wound.

Just a few things I had rattling around in my head. We recorded a new podcast Thursday and it should be kind of hilarious. Except to FDR.

Cap's Taking Hints From Union Jack

2007-10-11T20:03:00.000-04:00

When Reinventing Goes Wrong

2007-10-09T22:40:00.000-04:00

So the new Big Monkey Podcast is up and one of the things we were talking about was reinvention; when a character is given a new perspective by a new writer. I talked earlier about Marc Guggenheim's reinvention of Wolverine and how it is utter shite. If I had read Wolverine Annual #1 before recording, I would have remembered to mention it as one of the worst cases of reinvention and how contagious it is.

How exactly does Wolverine manage to get out of the superheated molten metal when the tendons and muscle needed to move have been burned away? Some will say this is fanboy nitpicking. But those people shouldn't be reading my comics blog.

Why I Want To See Speed Racer

2007-10-09T19:59:00.000-04:00

"It's the first time I've ever really worked with a chimpanzee," said Sarandon of the live action flick.

Susan Sarandon will be playing Mom Racer in the Wachowski Brothers' Speed Racer movie. And obviously that chimpanzee will be Chim Chim. The movie is going to be awesome.

Weekend Fun

2007-10-07T09:08:00.000-04:00

So this Saturday I had an excellent time playing HeroClix and getting schooled by the Great JC himself. Seeing a bunch of regular guys on a Saturday playing a game based on superheroes got me to wondering what superheroes do on their downtime. So I decided to hop over most of the country and see what the Avengers WestCoast were up to.

Like most superheroes, USAgent was busy working out in full costume while his compatriots stood around and either heckled or remained unimpressed because they could lift that weight with one mechanical hand. It was a slow day in the City of Angels, but things started looking up for everyone except Iron Man when Wonder Man showed up. Oh, Stark, you were always a bit of a douche.

Anyway, Simon has to go reshoot scenes for his late 80's action movie and needs someone to take his place at a charity event. Iron Man shoots him down saying they had other responsibilities, like watching USAgent work out. But Hawkeye, being not a douche, decides that teammates help each other out. And that's how Hawkeye, Iron Man, Vision and USAgent found themselves at a monster truck rally.

So the redneck's happy, but the rest of the Left Coast Avengers have to tough it out. They put on a show for the crowd but one member of the audience is anything but entertained. A villain who uses a monster truck rally as his debut? This guy must be pure evil, but with a lousy memory. He seems to have brought the blueprints of his master plan along with him. This ne'er-do-well has a point to make and everyone will remember the dramatic debut of......Doctor Goodwrench. Yeah.

So, the good Dr. sends the MTR machines to attack the crowd in the name of machine freedom and the Avengers Dub-C spring into action, without yelling "Avengers Assemble!" Kind of troubling. Still they fight off the mechanical dinosaur and Goodwrench tells the machines to "defend" themselves against the Avengers. Because trucks, no matter how big they are, are no match for the Avengers, Goodwrench turns Iron Man's armor against the Avengers, bringing Hawkeye to a realization that everyone should have came to when Goodwrench first rocked the mic.

Doctor Goodwrench is insane. Because machines don't talk. And Hawkeye decides to talk Doctor Goodwrench down. But it's the Vision who finally brings an end to this quirky tale. And yeah, Vision at this point is half C3-PO. Maybe two-thirds. And this wacky story wraps up the only way it could.

"Let's hug it out, bitch!"

And one last bit of douchery from Mr. Stark. Because Wonder Man drove Doctor Goodwrench crazy.

I think it's telling that while us normal guys are playing hero on weekends, superheroes are doing normal things on their weekends like going to monster truck rallies and making sure nutjobs get the help they need. I think that's called irony.

And who brought us this feel good time from the next best Avengers?

Comparisons

2007-09-30T11:54:00.000-04:00

After my Marvel Vs. DC: Who Rules the Seas? post and reading the latest Aquaman, I've had a lot of time to evaluate my position and realize that I was completely right in picking Sub-Mariner as best King of Atlantis. This is not a statement on who's the better character, just in how the character is used.

Namor is not a superhero. Just because he was a member of a few groups does not make him one, especially in the Marvel U. He is an ally, someone heroes go to for support. He does not fight because it is the right thing to do, he does it to help friends who are real superheroes, like Captain America, the original Human Torch and Sue Richards. He can be King of Atlantis because it is his number one priority, as being the king of the most advanced civilization on the planet should be.

Aquaman is supposed to be a superhero. He spent more time doing the day-to-day running of the Justice League than anyone besides J'Onn and regularly patrolled the seas for trouble. This is not how a king should operate. Kings go to war to defend their kingdom, or to make sure their allies stay in power, not to save luxury cruiselines from pirates. Granted, being in the Justice League when they are saving the Earth or the universe from Despero or Starro or Kanjar Ro makes sense, but the JLA handle more routine crisis like natural disasters and UN peace missions. How would a king(a real one who actually runs the society) be able to juggle both superheroing and governing without his subjects feeling neglected? It's why Atlantis is constantly being overrun.

Reading Tad Williams' work on Aquaman, I can see how well Aquaman(even a fake one) works when facing a real supervillain, not just a usurper. He fought Vandal Savage and one of the most convoluted masterplans in comic history. We need Aquaman saving lives in his own series, not just while he's in the Justice League. It's okay for Namor to be a pompous ass, not one of DC's Big Seven. That's for the minor League.

In other comparisons, I can't see how anyone can see Jamie Reyes/Blue Beetle as anything like Spider-Man, besides the bug theme. Spider-Man is about two things: wise-cracking and guilt. Always has been since he let the man who would kill his uncle go free and made light of a cop's job while doing it. Peter Parker had to keep his identity secret from those closest to him and went out as Spider-Man because it was the right thing to do and to work out the troubles of his personal life. His earliest stories were almost always about his self-doubt and how he has to find the strength to overcome. Usually he had no one to rely on, and was more than likely trying to save his oddly elderly aunt.

Blue Beetle is something new entirely. I don't know if there has ever been a superhero whose personal and superhero lives have been as entwined as Jaime's. His family and friends are his support system for both aspects of his life, and that hasn't been done before. To see Jaime's parents help him cope with his new career and his web of friends help him combat reimagined second-rate villains is fantastic. John Rogers is writing a new take on teenage superheroics, very interesting and entertaining on it's own merits.

Beyond the fact that Blue Beetle and Spider-Man started their hero careers as teens, there is no real basis for comparison.

Don't Worry, Green Arrow...

2007-09-28T20:09:00.000-04:00

...Batman will treat her right.

Reactions

2007-09-27T19:48:00.000-04:00

So my brother Brian has a different approach to reading comics. Instead of the week-to-week grid I'm on, he stops by his shop every two months a picks up a stack of books. Because of this, I try my best to make sure I don't let it slip what happen in any book he currently reads. Having no such deal with the people in his shop, he found out that Bart Allen died and Wally West came back, without actually reading both of those stories.

So we're talking a few days ago, and he's glad that Wally's back, but he wished Bart didn't have to die for it to happen.

Me: "You know how he died, right?"

Brian: "How?"

Me: "Beat to death."

Brian: "What?! By who?"

Me: "Who else?"

Brian: "The Rogues?"

Me: "Yeah."

Brian: "That's a little extreme for them."

My oldest brother Clayton reads mostly Marvel stuff but wanted to get back into Justice League of America when he found out Flash was coming back. He, too, knew that Bart had died, but not how.

Me: "Know how he died?"

Clayton: "Nah, how."

Me: "Beat to death."

Clayton: "What? Who killed him?"

Me: "Guess."

Clayton: "Gorilla Grodd?"

Me(thinking that would have made more sense): "The Rogues."

Clayton: "Huh? Why?"

I couldn't answer him because I was at work and had to relinquish the phone. Also, I still don't know why the Rogues all of a sudden thought the best way to avoid prison was to kill a popular hero in the open as if everyone didn't already know the Flash was fighting the Rogues at the time of his death.

"Cheer Me Up" Post

2007-09-21T23:00:00.000-04:00

Over at Living Between Wednesdays, Rachelle would like to hear a good "how comic books had a positive impact on my life" story. I don't know if mine is that good, but she's offering free stuff. So read on...

After leaving college and starting working my "real" job, I became something of a shut-in. Talking to people has never been one of my strong suits. Without the almost mandatory relationships that come from attending school, I talked to basically no one but my family. I didn't go out unless it was to eat or celebrate one of my nieces' birthdays.

And to buy my comics, which I would wait to read at home. I wasn't as open with my comic geekness back then, and people only found out about my fondness if I slipped and read one out in the open. I didn't like the questions that came from being "outed" as a comic reader. People treated you as if you were mentally challenged and that offended me to no end, mainly because, you know, I'm brilliant.

I used to buy my books at a place called Geseppi's(or Geppi's or something), but it closed, so I had to find a new spot. Back when Big Monkey Comics was called Beyond Comics 2, I decided to make that my new comics place. It was a two story place and appealed to me for the fact that it seemed that only black guys worked there. Being a black comic book fan means running into a lot of white guys, so it was kind of wild to be in BC2.

Anyway, besides the occasional questions about when stuff comes out, I didn't talk to anyone in the store, employee or customer. But there was a clerk named Kevin who was friendly and struck up conversations with just about everyone who came into the store. When BC2 moved into a smaller place, they gained a window alcove where you could sit and hang out a while. Which I did to talk about comics with Kevin, then Tarq, Devon, Jerome, Sherin, Drew, Kat, Martin, Damani, Tim, Seel(well, you don't really talk to Seel), Scip, Big Mike, Ulie, Rambo, Ben, the credited Andrew Carl, Brian & everyone else it would take many lines to name. I found a group of people I could talk to about comics who weren't family.

Soon enough, it became a regular Wednesday(Thursday if there was a holiday) thing, where we would talk about comics, politics, movies, music, anything that came to mind. These people I saw once a week became my friends. I would go to Kevin's house for parties, go to movies with people from the shop, tape a public access show on Saturdays and play HeroClix for time to time. I started reading Devon's and Scip's blogs, and then decided to make one of my own.(That's right. I started a blog while trying to stop being a shut-in.) When Big Monkey moved to it's current spot near U St., most of us went with it because we just liked hanging out there.

I feel as though my real life didn't start until I let everyone from Big Monkey in. I have friends I can be more open with then I ever could before. I have a release for my thoughts. A super cool Canadian gave me this awesome sketch. The trip home from the comic store is even better than the rest of my week.

If it wasn't for comic books and Big Monkey, I'd be where I am right now as I write this, but I wouldn't be happy and I'd probably just be watching TV. Being around other people who shared my passion for comics made it easier for me to be me, pretty much. Because of comics:

Batman: World's Greatest Father? + Sorry About The Kick In The Nuts, Mike & Ben

2007-09-20T18:09:00.000-04:00

Twice in one week, DC has treated us with a smiling Batman: in Robin #166 & in Catwoman #71 . He's holding a baby. It's so sweet, my teeth hurt. I'm 120%(even though that percent's not possible) behind the new(old?) interpretation of Batman. Whether he's defending the Club of Heroes to Robin, making sure Hal can pay off working ladies, or just showing up for the fight, Batman should always have just a touch of humor to him. This is the man who made his sidekick dress like moving target.

If you haven't read Green Arrow and Black Canary Wedding Special #1, you should. With this one issue, Judd Winick makes up for the mess he made of Trials of SHAZAM! Not saying you should read Trials, though. The wedding invitation reactions are hilarious, but what really got me was Superman's reaction to the GA and BC getting hitched. I love it.

Then you get to the ending, and well, it's shocking, to say the least. And to Big Mike and Dr. Benhatton, my condolences. But, you gotta admit, it's not like there are choices to fill that particular void. I am not laughing.

Amanda Conner's art is the real draw of this book. Her facial expressions remind me of Kevin Maguire, but her art has a more manic quality to it overall. Look at this spread.

Look at Hawkman pining for Hawkgirl. The utter cuteness of Big Barda & Mister Miracle and Buddy & Ellen Baker. The quartet of comedy featuring Flash, Alan Scott, Beast Boy & Power Girl. The maid of honor's seat. All great. But this is my favorite:

Awww.

Union Jack: Legacy Hero

2007-09-17T21:04:00.000-04:00

During the latest Big Monkey Podcast, Devon makes a point about Starman Jack Knight and says the idea of legacy heroes didn't really exist before Starman. I threw out the name "Union Jack," but didn't have a chance to finish the thought.

Union Jack was originally James Montgomery(created in 1976), who first donned the guise in World War I. He returned to duty in World War II, after his daughter, Jacqueline, was attacked by Baron Blood, James' brother, John. Jacqueline, injured in the fight, receives a blood transfusion from the android Human Torch and, developing super speed, becomes Spitfire. James has a boulder thrown on his legs by the vampiric Baron and has to retire. The mantle is taken over by his son, Brian(the guy standing next to Spitfire).

Years later(1980 in our time), after Captain America is revived from the ice, James finally helps end Baron Blood with the help of Cap and Joey Chapman, who dons the suit of Union Jack, after Jacqueline's son Kenneth declines to take over the mantle.

Before Rick Tyler, Beth Chapel, & Yolanda Montez, before Wally West & Jack Knight, Marvel gave you a superhero legacy.

Everybody Get Random

2007-09-14T17:50:00.000-04:00

I need that jacket. Today.

As a budding HeroClix player, I sometimes think about the Clix I would like to see made, like X-jacket Cyclops. He would have I DON'T HAVE CLAWS(Willpower), Leadership, Close Combat Expert, 9MM(Range Combat Expert) and FIRST X-MAN(Perplex for every X-Men Team member within 10 spaces).

Another idea I had was Noh-Varr Marvel Boy. He would have BUG DNA(Leap/Climb), KREE WARRIOR(Close Combat Expert), PLODEX(Exploit Weakness), SPIT(Mind Control), FINGERNAIL(Energy Explosion), & MUSIC TO MY EARS(Toughness). Yes, I want to build a Morrison team.

The Legendary Heroes Pitt figure? It's huge. HUGE.

We recorded the latest Big Monkey Podcast on Thursday with a special guest:Mike Pellegrino of Are You Feelin Big Mike? To say the least, it was memorable.

Not to put down Justice League of America Wedding Special, but someone needs to let McKone know who is or isn't active when doing group shots. Having Jack Knight in his Starman gear, Black Condor(Golden Age) in costume, Tempest without his white hair and pale skin, Space Ranger(?), and somehow Dr. Fate is just too much for this continuity whore to deal with.
That said, it was the best Justice League writing in almost three years or more. Dwayne McDuffie took what would have been a throwaway special and made it a springboard into the new Justice League storyline. Awesomeness ensues.

Moon Knight will save you.

This COUNTDOWN Is Becoming A Quagmire!

2007-09-09T11:20:00.000-04:00

I know I was harsh on Countdown when it first started, what with Superman telling Jimmy the secret identities of Batman's first sidekicks and the general bleh I feel towards most of the story(ies?). Now, though, I feel as though I have read enough of it to truly say it's just not that good.

When other books have "A Countdown Tie-in" slapped over their titles, you expect Countdown to give you the main story that the book is tying into. The thing is, when you read Countdown, it seems as though the book is a tie-in to other things, leaving you looking around for the whole story.

I think having a book dedicated to "linking" the DCU is a ingenious idea, but it's being done poorly. The central story is broken up into so many side pieces that are known to not be resolved in the series or until the very end that most people will probably wait until that mini-series comes out to read the story. It makes reading Countdown weekly seem like treading water. As it stands, Countdown could have been a series of back-up stories or inserts and would probably have been better received.

Just my opinion.

Tony Can't Count

2007-09-08T17:33:00.001-04:00

After reading One More Day Part 1, you know what really bothered me? It wasn't the melodramatic claptrap or the weird shading on Peter's nose. It was in the appendix, with the Spidey costumes.

The Iron Spider suit had three cybernetic arms. Counting Spidey's natural two arms and two legs, that's only seven appendages. Spiders have eight. And then it hit me.

Tony Stark is the kind of guy that would count the "third leg."

Always classy.

Bugle's Planet Daily & Big Monkey Podcast

2007-09-03T22:58:00.000-04:00

Last week, the other site I write for, Bugle's Planet Daily, posted the winners of their open call for news articles. The runner-up was frequent commenter Gyuss Baaltar and I thought I would just take this chance to congratulate Gyuss* and invite everyone reading this to check out Bugle's Planet Daily and you can submit your own articles to BPD@buglesplanet.com, to see if you, too, can be a part of the fun.

Also, the new Big Monkey Podcast is up and I thought I would take this time to ask for questions for the group. You can send them to Thosewednesdays@gmail.com. Also, we are looking for a new theme song and you can send them along to Ben, as well.

*Sorry for taking so long to congratulate.

It's Not Marvel Vs. DC, It's WAR!

2007-08-31T18:54:00.000-04:00

Marvel is not the House of Whiny Bastards.

For a while now, I've endured the slings and arrows thrown at Marvel, saying the characters are whiny and not as heroic as DC characters. And you know what? That's bullshit. It's easy to be a superhero when you're insanely rich, insanely powerful or just don't have any people to worry about at home. Granted, Spider-Man seems to come off whiny when Jeph Loeb has him crying over Captain America or Straczynski has him worrying about his decisions hurting Mary Jane and Aunt May, but there portrayals are an exaggeration of old stories. When Peter complained about not making rent or missing a date, he was making the same complaints we make daily. He wasn't crying just wishing things lightened up a bit.

Just because Marvel heroes deal with more "real world" problems and question whether what they are doing is right doesn't make them less heroic. Being able to do the right thing is something most people don't really think about on a daily basis, but it makes sense for someone who regularly tries to save lives would think about it from time to time. The fact they remain heroes when it would be easier for them to live a normal life just shows their nobility.

I think what really gets to me is that people seem to equate liking Marvel as to appealing to the lowest common denominator, that it's low brow, therefore, open to anyone to like. It makes it seem as though DC is so high-minded and more worthwhile of your time. Like Amazons Attack! or Countdown or Meltzer's Justice League of America.

I was going to sit here for a few hours listing characters who don't follow the DC fans' perception of Marvel heroes, but you know what's better. Read some Marvel books. There are many out there that will blow away all preconceptions, and I will list those.

Zemo: Born Better - I can't stress enough what a good job Fabian Nicieza did on this mini-series. It's like a character study mixed with time travel and mass murder. It doesn't end the way you expect it to and features Tom Grummet's excellent art.

Immortal Iron Fist - Kicks ass.

Punisher (MAX) - Garth Ennis on Punisher is the best work I think he's done. It's violent and provocative, but not as over the top as his Vertigo work, where you are looking for something crazy to happen more than the story to progress.

Thunderbolts - I was fully prepared to hate Warren Ellis on Thunderbolts until he made me cheer on Jack Flag and appreciate how subversive his writing can be.

X-Factor - Peter David's take on Madrox and crew is intriguing, witty and poignant. Each character is fleshed out and thrown into wild situations that keep you coming back every month with anticipation.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man by Peter David - The best depiction of Spider-Man in a good long while.

Annihilation - A space epic with more characterization than many of the characters involved have ever received. Some might say it's Marvel's version of a DC crossover. I say, how can you read Starlord, Quasar or Super Skrull as anything but pure Marvel?

Daredevil - Brubaker has done a brilliant job making his mark on the character, closing out some of Bendis's plotlines while introducing his own. I think what really makes Brubaker's work standout is his ability lay the groundwork for later stories without sacrificing the pace of the current ones.

Fantastic Four - McDuffie is blending in the FF's penchant for traveling to far off places and classic superfighting, at the same time providing a fresh take on the classic team. Also check out Waid and Ringo's run for truly fantastic reading.

She-Hulk - The pure joy of the Marvel Universe.

Cable & Deadpool - I don't care what you have read with these characters before, Nicieza develops them into multifaceted people for which there is no mold. This comic is like no other you have read before and it's a shame that people take one look at the title and dismiss it.

Captain America - This just may be my number one. Brubaker takes what would generally be the last issue of a series and makes it a springboard for four stories centering around Cap's friends and enemies and their eventual collision.

Astonishing X-Men - Whedon and Cassaday's run is everything you loved about the X-Men in the 80's, but with Whedon's knack for dialogue replacing Claremont's knack for overexposition.

Nextwave - Insane, and you will love every page of it.

Uncanny X-Men - His first arc reestablished the X-Men's connection to the Shi'ar Empire and now Brubaker is giving us a new version of the Morlocks and a rejuvenated Professor X.

World War Hulk - Everything you expected and there's still two issues left.

Ms. Marvel - Started slow but now has really hit it's stride and is showing Ms. Marvel as a leading hero in the Marvel U.

Avengers: The Initiative - The frontline of the Superhero Registration and you can already tell the system has some kinks to work out. What's interesting about it is Dan Slott shows both the pros and cons of The Initiative, leaving you wondering if it will actually work or if it will eventually fall apart.

Super-villain Team Up: MODOK's 11 - A heist tale with minor super villains being led by a deceiving engine of destruction and how it goes off the rails.

Punisher War Journal - A perfect reintroduction of Punisher into mainstream Marvel. Matt Fraction has placed Punisher into world of super-villains for the first time and let's him go full steam.

Moon Knight - Since his creation, many people have called Moon Knight Marvel's Batman. Charlie Huston has cemented Marc Spector as really an anti-Batman. Moon Knight doesn't solve problems with his brilliant mind, he beats them nearly to death with his fists and loose boards.

Before you decide to spend $2.99 on the latest Countdown tie-in, why not try one of the comics I've listed. I promise you won't be disappointed and will more than likely be trying to find the back issues and trades.

The Marvel Universe is a glorious place and welcomes you.

In Other Countdown Theories...

2007-08-30T23:31:00.000-04:00

...Beardface is being controlled by, was replaced by or is Darkseid.

That's why no one realizes he has control over the Shadow Demons.

And if you haven't read Amazons Attack! #6, I just did you a favor.

They Need Backup

2007-08-29T23:44:00.000-04:00

You know who should be fighting the Sinestro Corps?

These guys:

Think about it. It's already been established that this version of the Crime Syndicate is in the animatter universe, where the Sinestro Corps is based. Now let's say a bunch of dominating psychopaths set up shop in your neck of the woods and could possibly infringe on your own domineering. Would you let it stand? Would you? Or you?

The enemy of your enemy would probably appreciate you helping out on an ass-kicking, so I don't see the Green Lanterns turning away even the CSA's twisted efforts.

Welcome Back

2007-08-26T23:45:00.000-04:00

I've been more active than usual this weekend so I haven't had a chance to put together a new Marvel Vs. DC post, yet I can't bring myself to apologize. I was having fun and that's never wrong.

Anyway, after reading Birds of Prey #109, I have only one question:

Why is the Infinity Man killing New Gods?

And I would just like to say(yell) WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!!!! to Rachelle of Living Between Wednesdays. After months of missionary work, bringing rock to underprivileged Canadians, she has returned to blogging. Hey.

Big Monkey Podcast:Good Times

2007-08-21T00:01:00.000-04:00

The new podcast is up and I just wanted to say I did a dramatic reading of Victor Volcanum from Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen that exemplifies Silver Age villainy.

Enjoy!!

Marvel Vs. DC: Who Rules The Seas?

2007-08-19T23:58:00.000-04:00

Atlantis. Across two universes, it's the most highly advanced nation on the planet, a submerged society of technology and magic. The people of Atlantis are ruled by a king.

In DC, it's Arthur Curry, Aquaman:

In Marvel, it's Namor McKenzie, the Sub-Mariner:

In The Beginning:

Aquaman was not the king of the seas, nor was he Arthur Curry. He was the son of an unnamed undersea explorer who found the lost(and empty) city of Atlantis. This explorer created a study for himself in an air cavern where he trained his son to survive underwater indefinitely using "a hundred different scientific secrets". Named Aquaman by his father, the son went out into the world using his superhuman strength and ability to talk with sea creatures to fight Nazis and other 1940's threats.

It wasn't until the Silver Age, that the seeds of the current origin of Aquaman started, where he was the son of Tom Curry, a lighthouse keeper who fell in love with Atlanna, an exiled Atlantean. Later it would be changed so that Queen Atlanna* and a sorcerer named Atlan* had a child named Orin, who was deemed to carry the Mark of Kordax(which is apparently blond hair) and was cast into the ocean wilds. Orin was found by Arthur Curry, who named the sea child after himself. Arthur Curry/Orin had the same abilities of the Golden Age Aquaman, mostly, except his communication with sea creatures was now telepathic and he could only stay out of water for an hour at a time or start to weaken.

Aquaman became a prominent superhero and a founding member of the Justice League of America, which he would remain a member for extended periods of time. He had two sidekicks Garth who went by Aqualad and Tula who went by Aquagirl, and married Mera, a water-breathing Queen from another dimension.

Aquaman made a career out of defending the seas against such threats as Black Manta(he of the tacky helmet and delusions of grandeur), the Fisherman, the Scavenger, the Human Flying Fish, and his half-brother(the son of Arthur Curry and a human woman) Orm, the Ocean Master. At first light-hearted, his adventures became decidedly darker after the death of his son, Arthur Jr., by Black Manta. The tragedy created a rift between Aquaman and Mera, as well as between Aquaman and Aqualad, who were forced to fight to death by Black Manta for Arthur Jr.'s life. From then on, Aquaman mostly worked alone fending off threats to his throne and trying to patch up his marriage.

In the nineties, a effort was made to update Aquaman for an audience who mainly made light of him. His hand was eaten by angry piranha and was replaced by a harpoon, then a magical one with many capabilities. Also, Aquaman was now more arrogant than before, quick to posture as though he were prepped to be king from birth, as opposed to finding out when he was an adult.

During Our Worlds At War, Aquaman used Poseidon's(or Neptune's) Trident to fight off an Imperiex drone, while Garth, now going by Tempest and with sorcery training from Atlan, tried to temporarily shunt Atlantis into another dimension to prevent it from destruction. He was believed killed in the fight, but really Aquaman and Atlantis were sent into the past were it caused the original Atlantis to sink. In the past, Aquaman's spirit was trapped in the ocean and the Atlanteans were subjugated by ancient Atlantean wizards. It took the Justice League in the past and present to bring Aquaman and Atlantis back to the present, but magic became the order of the day. Wizards took control of Atlantis, imprisoning Mera in a magical haze and making Aquaman public enemy number one.

Banned from the ocean, Aquaman was chosen by the Lady of the Water to become the Waterbearer and wield a water hand that was connected a mystical life river. It didn't take long before Aquaman took on a more traditional look and returning to combating non-mystical threats. He had to deal with the sinking of San Diego and dealing with the survivors who were given water breathing capability. In this new Sub Diego, Aquaman found a new Aquagirl and had a run-in with Black Manta before he tried raising Sub Diego and returning the people back to their natural state. This changed him drastically, and leaving the Aquaman mantle open to a Arthur Joseph Curry, who is apparently the genetically altered clone of the son of a marine scientist.

Namor McKenzie was born to the Atlantean princess Fen and the American captain of the Orcale Leonard McKenzie. Fen went missing from Atlantis and was found by McKenzie while at sea. The two fell in love, but were torn apart when Fen's father Emperor Thakorr sent troops to find Fen. The troops believed Fen was being held captive so they destroyed the Oracle and nearly killed McKenzie bringing Fen back. Back in Atlantis, Fen gave birth a pink-skinned baby boy in the blue-skinned society of Atlantis. He was named Namor, Atlantean for "Avenging Son."

Namor is a mutant, born with small wings on his ankles that gave him flight, superhuman strength, speed and endurance, the ability to copy the abilities of sealife, to communicate telepathically with sealife, and has an extremely long lifespan, seeing as he's not aged much in 60 years. The sealife abilities and lifespan were revealed after the character was revived in the 50's and 60's, but his wings are vintage.

Namor began his adventures as the Sub-Mariner attacking surface dwellers who he felt threatened Atlantis and sealife in general. Eventually, he put aside his anger and joined with the Allies to stop the Axis Powers. He teamed up with Captain America, Bucky, Whizzer, Miss America, the original Human Torch and Toro to form the All-Winners Squad. Wait...in the retconned continuity, Sub-Mariner joined Cap, Buck, Torch and Toro as the Invaders and formed the All-Winners Squad when the Invaders and the Liberty Legion joined together after World War II. Namor was joined by his cousin Aquaria Nautica Neptunia, a human/Atlantean hybrid mutant like himself, who was nicknamed "Namora("Avenging Daughter" in Atlantean)" for her royal cousin. She fully accepted the name after her father was killed by human treasure hunters.

Namor was injured sometime after the War and drifted around as a derelict named Macin. He was found by the Human Torch of the Fantastic Four who recognized Macin for who he was and helped revive his memories. Shortly thereafter, Namor went to find his people, but they had relocated when the original Atlantis was damaged by nuclear testing. Enraged, Namor attacked the surface world repeatedly, being thwarted by the Fantastic Four and the Avengers, before he found the new Atlantis and abandoned his vengeance. In his travels to find Atlantis, he came upon an Arctic tribe worshipping a man encased in ice, so he took the frozen idol and tossed it into the sea. The frozen man was found by the Avengers and revealed to be Captain America.

In his fights with the Fantastic Four, Namor became infatuated with Susan Storm and tried many times to win her affections. One time he used lost gold to buy a production company and offered the Fantastic Four a movie deal in a rather complicated attempt to get Susan's attentions. He stopped actively trying to woo Susan when she married Reed Richards, but still loves her to this day. He married his cousin Lady Dorma, but she was kidnapped and replaced by Llyra of Lemuria in an effort to take control of Atlantis. The plan was stopped, but Lady Dorma was killed.

Though still king of Atlantis, Namor joined(was forced) the Defenders for a time, before gaining his freedom from the group. After a coup forced Namor out of power, Namor joined the Avengers and met his second wife Marrina, an alien aquatic of the Plodex race. The two founded a society of peaceful Atlanteans, but Marrina's evil side emerged and in a battle with the Avengers, she was thought killed. Actually in a coma, Marrina was nevertheless never reunited with Namor. Namor restored order in Atlantis after Atlantis Attacks, but was presumed deceased. He used the anonymity and more undersea treasures to start Oracle, Inc., which he used to fund environment saving programs. He also reconnected with his "cousin" Namorita, a clone of Namora who was passed off as Namora's daughter due to Atlantean taboo against cloning. Namora was poisoned by Llyra and thought deceased, but was recently discovered to be in suspended animation.

Continuing in his habit of discovering lost heroes, Namor went to K'un L'un where he found Iron Fist who was thought deceased. Namor fought against a sorcerer named Master Khan around this time, losing his memory for a short period before finally defeating him. Namor was killed fighting against another sorcerer named Suma-Ket, but was returned to life by the God Neptune. He returned to power as king of Atlantis and head of Oracle, Inc., but sold off the company to focus on Atlantean matters.

Most recently, Namor helped out the modern incarnation of the Invaders and was one of the members of the Illuminati, a council of prominent superheroes who met to decide major issues such what to do about the threat of the Skrulls and how to deal with the Infinity Gauntlet. e broke with the group when it was decided that Bruce Banner, the Hulk, should be sent into deep space to an uninhabited planet. Namor predicted that Hulk would return, angrier than ever, hell bent on revenge. He was proven right. He backed Captain America in the Civil War, after taking custody of Nitro for killing Namorita. His placing of Atlantean spies in America has him in hot water, since a rogue group of Atlanteans are committing terrorist acts in America.

So who wins:

I should start off by saying I'm not one of those people who see Aquaman as a joke. True, he's not my favorite hero, but I could see his place in the DCU and how his powers can be useful in non-water based situations.

That being said, the only time I was really interested in Aquaman's adventures was during the Sub Diego situation, when he was brought back to full-on superhero mode. Before, it seemed to be Aquaman's solo adventures were him fending off usurpers, like all the time. I think there was an issue of the 90's Aquaman where an oil spill had something to do with Kordax or aliens trying to take control of Atlantis. If you wanted Aquaman saving human beings(not to be prejudiced against homo mermanus), you had to read Justice League books. When I found out about the Golden Age Aquaman, I felt kind of gypped for the past couple of decades.

Sub-Mariner, on the other hand, was never meant to be the usual kind of hero. He started off a angry young man, throwing sea slang, and became the arrogant monarch who occasionally worked with the surface dwellers. His appeal is his arrogance and the fact that he has the power to back it up. He was the first anti-hero, the template for every hero who more than likely would choose not to be there. The fact that he was able to keep his personality mostly intact, sans the slang, over the years shows how well he was received with every appearance. No one seemed to feel the need to revamp the character as much as Aquaman was. Aquaman's modern era arrogance seemed to reflect a need to justify Aquaman's place in the Justice League, hell, comics in general.

Sub-Mariner doesn't need jusification and is liked without irony. DC has even tried to have their own Namor, and I don't mean Arthur. He is understandable, preventing the wild characterizations(unless Meltzer starts writing Marvel) that comes from a writer trying to "establish" a character, but at the same time, open in his mentality to work in many situations. Again, without it seeming out of place. It's just kind of bad that DC can't seem to get Aquaman back to his roots without immediately ripping them out from under him.

And dammit, Namor was here first.

WINNER:

SUB-MARINER!!

*What were they, brother and sister?

Maybe Rom's Not Coming Back

2007-08-18T21:50:00.000-04:00

"A wizard?" I'm thinking "a Warlock"

It would explain the "prodigal" angle.

EAT IT, BIG MIKE!!!

2007-08-17T12:56:00.000-04:00

I hope it's bitter.

MARVEL VS. DC: Best Comeback Kid

2007-08-13T18:55:00.000-04:00

In the world of comics, two characters seemed to hold that special place usually reserved for origin devices: permanent death. They were James Buchanan Barnes and Jason Todd, also known as Bucky and Robin II, respectively.

In 2006, these sidekick cautionary tales were brought back to life, flying in the face of readers' acceptance of their continual rest. But whose return was best?

Before we get to their return, let's rundown how they started.

James Buchanan Barnes was an orphaned young man who lied about his age to get into the Army so that he could serve his country and was stationed with Steve Rogers. He stumbled upon Rogers donning his Captain America uniform and was appointed Captain America's sidekick. An accomplished brawler before training, Barnes took to the military training with gusto, making him an excellent counterpart to Cap and a stealth agent able to pull operations Cap couldn't.

Cap and Bucky fought in World War II during most of America's involvement. Sometimes they pulled off missions with Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos and others they operated with the superhuman group, The Invaders. When Cap and the rest of the Invaders were captured by the Red Skull, Bucky assembled the Liberty Legion to rescue them and led that group for awhile, as well as the Kid Commandos, a junior version of the Invaders. Their last mission was infiltrating a stronghold of Baron Zemo, but the duo were tied to a rocket and launched. They freed themselves and redirected the missile, but, as Cap jumped away, Bucky couldn't get away in time and the missile exploded.

Jason Todd was an orphaned young man who lived on the streets of Gotham City. He was found by Batman in the process of stealing the tires off the Batmobile. Seeing something in the kid's chutzpah, the Dark Knight decided to train Todd like he had trained Dick Grayson before. Jason took to the training and became the second Robin.

It wasn't long before Jason became rebellious. He would disobey orders, go looking for fights(but not in a crimefighting way) and even may have killed a diplomat's son who attacked a woman. Getting a lead on his birth mother, Jason chose to go it alone and walked right into a set up by the Joker. After beating him mercilessly with a tire iron, the Joker left Jason and his mother in a warehouse with a bomb. Like Bucky, he couldn't get away.

Their Return:

As it turns out, Bucky did not die. Like Cap, he was preserved in the frozen waters, sans his left arm and barely functional, yet still retaining his fighting reflexes. Like Jason Bourne. Found by a Russian sub commander who had an earlier encounter with Cap and Bucky, Bucky was fitted with a cybernetic arm and was conditioned to operate for his new Russian handlers. He was their secret weapon, an assassin who could kill without being caught and received all the training Captain America had.

When not on assignment, Bucky was kept in suspended animation, deemed to likely to bail if given too much freedom. To the intelligence community, he was called "The Winter Soldier" and with the fall of the Soviet Union, he was picked up by Aleksander Lukin, an industrialist with dreams of returning the Soviet Union to glory.

The Red Skull, who transferred his consciousness into Lukin after being shot by the Winter Soldier, tried to have Bucky kill Captain America during a plot to power the Cosmic Cube, but Cap used the Cube to reawaken Bucky's memories instead. Disoriented and dismayed about being used, Bucky dropped out of sight for awhile, but came back into action as an agent of Nick Fury.

At the end of Crisis on Infinite Earths, four people went to specially created universe to live in peace while New Earth found it's way. They were Superman and Lois Lane of Earth-2, Alexander Luthor of Earth-S and Superboy of Earth-Prime. Long story short, Luthor and Superboy went round the bend in their loneliness and decided to remake the universe to their liking. Superboy-Prime, as he was called while Kon-El was around, had tremendous power and his repeated attempts to break free of the crystalline walls of their secluded dimension had reality changing effects on the universe.

One change was that Jason Todd didn't die from the injuries sustained from the Joker(Apparently, even though it happened without any cosmic disturbance, his death wasn't supposed to happen and Superboy's punches set it right. Not even in comic logic does that make sense). Only thing was, he returned where his body had been: in his grave. The mad drive to escape his coffin coupled with the untreated injuries left Jason Todd addled and touched in the head. But, like Jason Bourne, he still had all his skills ingrained into his reflexes, so it was easy for some homeless guy to recognize him as Robin and sell that info indirectly to Talia Al Ghul.

Talia placed Jason into a Lazarus Pit and when he emerged, he found the newsclippings Talia had left showing that after Joker had killed Jason, Batman just put him back in Arkham. Jason thought that Batman should have killed Joker, to avenge Jason's death. Jason went back to Gotham and, using an old identity of Joker's, started his own vigilante career. As the Red Hood, Jason severed drug dealers' heads who sold to kids and took down Captain Nazi permanently(not really, but you get the point). He confronted Batman many times, culminating with a three way stand-off between Batman, Red Hood and the Joker.

An inconsequential C-4 explosion and Infinte Crisis later, Jason Todd spent some time as Nightwing before redonning the Red Hood guise. He now is working alongside Donna Troy, the new Atom and New-Earth's Monitor to find Ray Palmer.

Who Wins?

Unless you were around in the 40's to read the original Captain America and Invaders comics or in the 70's for that volume of The Invaders, your impression of Bucky is pretty much that guy who blew up when Cap got frozen. Still, that's better than being the Robin Voted to Die.

As far as methods of resurrection, Superboy-punches are, by far, the lamest reasoning imaginable. It's not the whole restructuring of reality that perplexes you, it's the image of Superboy hitting the "walls" of reality. In Bucky's case, the Cosmic Cube was right there but was not used as the catalyst for his return. He was always alive, just changed into a badass assassin. And really, being killed in a flashback story with the only eyewitness being a guy falling from the sky and probably suffering from a concussion from an explosion is just begging someone to bring him back.

As it is, Jason Todd is the pouty black sheep of the Bat-family and Bucky is the Winter Soldier, a man who gives Iron Man pause.

Winner!!

THE WINTER SOLDIER!!

Soundtrack of Our Geeky Lives

2007-08-10T22:54:00.000-04:00

So, those of you who have listened to the Big Monkey Podcast know that during the Lightning Round, one of the questions was what music would go best with a comic or storyline, etc. Of course, I could barely think of an answer at the time, but over the past week ideas kept coming to me. So here are a few of my suggestions for comic soundtracks:

The beginning of Renee Montoya's storyline in 52: Rehab by Amy Winehouse

Any Crisis: The Transformers Soundtrack (1987)

Justice Society of America #8: It's Been Awhile by Staind

Captain America #25: Hey Man, Nice Shot by Filter

Anything drawn by Michael Turner: Burn In My Light by Mercy Drive

All Star Superman: any Beatles song that fits the story

Black Knight's Theme: Bittersweet Symphony (instrumental) by The Verve

New X-Men by Yost and Kyle: DOA by Foo Fighters

The Return of The Flash: Lightning Crashes by Live

Jack of Fables Theme: What You Know by T.I.

Quicksilver's evil turn theme: Still Running by Chevelle

The Sinestro Corps power brokers: Apocalypse Please by Muse

Robin's past four years: Alive by Pearl Jam

Song for Elektra, Typhoid Mary, Black Widow & Echo about Daredevil: Ex-Girlfriend by No Doubt

Penance's Theme: Hurt by Nine Inch Nails

Eclipso: The Darkness Within: I Am The Anger by Firewind

Zoom's Theme: Break You by Drowning Pool

Song in Blue Beetle's head when he met Traci 13: I Don't Want To Miss A Thing by Aerosmith

Namor's Theme: King of Kings by Motorhead

Gen 13's Theme: Another Brick In The Wall by Pink Floyd

When The Winter Soldier finally accepts the mantle: What I've Done by Linkin Park

Mike Carey Agrees With Me

2007-08-03T00:35:00.000-04:00

In the latest issue of X-Men, Mike Carey brings up a point that pretty much ruined Guggenheim's run on Wolverine for me. Guggenheim seems to believe Wolverine resurrects from every major injury and has to fight for his soul before regenerating his flesh. Which is stupid. Wolverine heals, and from his earliest appearances always made sure he didn't get burned to death. Hell, in Days of Future Past, he was burned to death. And yet, Guggenheim has him survive a point blank hypercharged Nitro explosion where he's burned to the skeleton and comes back to life, making Wolverine unkillable. It's beyond even my comic book sensibilities to accept.

Isn't it weird Humberto Ramos drew both those stories? And that this spread is incomprehensible? How big is Harpoon supposed to be? Are they fighting through the ground Rogue is lying down on?

By the way, most of you probably already know about the two new Metropolis police officers, but what you probably don't know is that their series, HERE COME THE BLACK & WHITE'S!, is currently being developed in the minds of everyone from Big Monkey. But we need your help! Any artists out there(or anyone who can make stick figures look different) please send your interpretations of Officers Scipio Garling and Devon Sanders to jonhexlives@yahoo.com. I'll probably end up posting any entries in a grand post, dedicated to the newest members of the MPD.

Custom Job

2007-07-28T21:58:00.000-04:00

So the Scarlet Witch Marvel Legend sucks. Yeah, the figure was like 67% thinner. I bought it anyway, because like many comic book readers/bloggers, I'm a completist. That character trait is the reason I got the X3 Jean Grey Marvel Legend, as well. I didn't use my own money for it, so it's like I'm not really supporting that God-awful movie. Anyway, before I threw out the Jean Grey, I got to looking at the clothes and my mind starting working. Suffice to say, after some(a lot) of pulling and some drilling when the pulling didn't produce adequate results, I got this:

The MARVEL BOY Team Is Back!

2007-07-28T10:47:00.001-04:00

I thought there wouldn't be anything to get me interested in Final Crisis, except the fact that it just might be the light at the end of a very long and draining tunnel. Then this was announced:

"The creative team for Final Crisis, the May 2008-launching mega-event, was then revealed. Grant Morrison and J.G. Jones are writing and penciling, respectively."

Bring it on, DC.

MARVEL VS. DC: Best Synthetic Teammate

2007-07-26T18:38:00.000-04:00

In DC's Corner: The Red Tornado

Red Tornado was originally a sentient cyclone from Rann known as the Tornado Tyrant. If Rann had more sentient weather patterns, those Thanagarian punks wouldn't stand a chance. He fought extraterrestrial sperm donor Adam Strange, but after observing Strange and the Justice League of America, it changed it's name to the Tornado Champion to be a force for good (except part of him split off to remain the Tyrant). The T. Champion then came to Earth and possessed an android body created by the awesomely named T.O. Morrow. He rebelled at his creator(?), well, guy who captured his essence and decided to join the JLA.

An underappreciated member of the Justice League(really, tornado based powers are extremely useful in most atmosphere based situations), Reddie(ugh) has the distinction of being Most Likely to Blow Up. His Who's Who entry alone had three instances of spontaneous robotic combustion and he spent 52 as a disembodied head. Though he did manage to get married to Kathy Sutton and adopted that crazy looking kid in the picture above, Traya, under the alias John Smith, he managed to spend time in limbo on the D-list team Primal Force without anyone looking for him. It was until he was found by Young Justice in the JLA's cave like a piece of old furniture that Sutton and Traya were reunited with their favorite superhero. He has now rejoined the Justice League after a bout of humanity.

In Marvel's Corner: The Vision

Originally thought to be the synthozoid Human Torch, Vision was created when evil robot Ultron recreated the design of the Human Torch and infused it with the power to change it's density, flight, superstrength and a laser jewel, as well as the mind patterns of Simon Williams, Wonder Man. Vision broke free of Ultron's control and was invited to join the Avengers. While serving, his emotions developed and he fell in love with fellow Avenger, Scarlet Witch. They were married soon after, and had twin sons, who turned out to be not real, considering he's basically a robot. The realization that her sons were just pieces of Master Pandemonium's missing soul, sent Scarlet Witch into the beginnings of a breakdown(one of many).

After being influenced by the Titan supercomputer ISAAC into taking over the world's computers, Vision was captured by the government, dissected and put back together with none of his emotions. This was the final straw that caused Scarlet Witch to lose her mind and rejoin her father, Magneto. Even though Scarlet Witch came back to her senses, Vision and Scarlet Witch's marriage was done due to his lack of emotion. He only regained his emotions after being transferred into the body of an alternate universe's Vision by an alternate universe version of Black Knight called Proctor. Emotions and, as the alternate Vision pointed out, functioning genitalia.

After Heroes Reborn, Vision decided it would be best if Scarlet Witch be allowed to live her own life and pursue her connection with Simon, who she brought back from the dead. Vision then started dating Ms. Marvel(then known as Warbird), and might have reconnected with Scarlet Witch, if he hadn't belched up Ultrons and was ripped asunder in Avengers Disassembled. He was wrote off as unsalvageable after that but his programming was downloaded into the Young Avenger Iron Lad's psychokinetic armor, bringing him back to action, except younger(?). Well, free of the previous Vision's experiences.

Who Wins?

I know a lot of people have a problem with Red Tornado; that he may be a lame character and really doesn't deserve to be in the JLA. But after his time mentoring Young Justice, I think people have been giving him a bad rap. Then again, when your biggest storyline is the dreadful, poorly thoughtout The Tornado's Path, well, there just might be something the naysayers get that I fully haven't. Vision, on the other hand, had a synthetic body with working junk.

Whereas Red Tornado seemed to lament his inability to feel truly human, Vision had no problem, really, connecting with humanity, until his first reconstruction. He even choose a name with some personality(Victor Shade) instead of a con man stand-by like John Smith. And when Vision does his half solid arm phase through someone's chest, it's always cool, unlike that inexplicable arrow on RT's head.

THE WINNER:

To The Victor, vol. II

2007-07-20T20:05:00.000-04:00

I got a package in the mail from Rachelle of Living Between Wednesdays, and taking into account this was on the back of the envelope, there was no part of my prize that wasn't awesome. As many of you may know, I won The Living Between Wednesdays Comic Shop Love contest, with the prize being a signed issue of The Spirit #1. Rachelle was nice enough to throw in some Spirit buttons (which now adorn the inside flap of my Batman messenger bag so they never get lost), a note written on a Catwoman envelope (lovely), the official Living Between Wednesdays mix CD (which includes reasons why each song was chosen) and, proving that "Darwyn" + "Cooke" = cool, an original sketch Darwyn Cooke made after hearing about the contest.

Tell me that's not the ginchiest. Right now. I dare you.

Canadians rock!

Podcast Call to Inquiries

2007-07-20T20:00:00.000-04:00

To do my part to increase listener participation, I am asking all six of you who read this blog to please send any questions to Thosewednesdays@gmail.com, so that the five of us at The Big Monkey Podcast can (maybe) answer your questions on air. Thank you for your time.

How To Accurately Describe This Panel

2007-07-19T00:04:00.000-04:00

Frickin' Sweet!

My Comic Company Can Kick Your Comic Company's Ass

2007-07-12T21:56:00.000-04:00

I don't know if I mentioned this before but I like Marvel more than DC. It's weird. I talk about DC more and Batman is my favorite character, but if Marvel folded, I would probably stop reading comics. And I talk about DC more because it seems to major in pissing off it's readers, deliberately.

In an effort to put this point across, I have a series in mind. It's

MARVEL VS. DC

Except, you know DC loses.

First up, who has the better archer?

DC has Green Arrow:

Originally a lame ripoff of Batman with the world's most useless collection of novelty arrows, Oliver Queen was revamped in the seventies into a liberal rabblerouser, a hero of the people who wagged his finger at other heroes for not stepping up on national issues. Teamed up with Green Lantern Hal Jordan, he was made relevant, mainly as a response to Marvel's popularity, which came from it's relevance. So he was still ripping off someone's shtick. He's died before, having a bomb strapped to his arm explode, but he got better thanks to Hal Jordan as both Parallax and the Spectre making him a new, younger body and then placing his soul into it.

Besides being the conscience of the Justice League, Mr. Queen is the father of two(or three?) illegitimate children, one being Green Arrow stand-in Connor Hawke and another(maybe?) being Arrowette. Cissie's status as the daughter of Queen was hinted at in Young Justice, but since he series ended, none of the characters introduced in it have been seen again. The last is a child born of Shado, who had sex with Ollie while he was whacked out and thought he was with Black Canary. You see, to instill a personality into the tabula rasa that was Golden Age Green Arrow, DC not only made him a preachy beatnik, but also a straight-out lech. Besides the women he's knocked up, he was frequently found sneaking out of Black Canary's window and hit Black Lightning's niece's bull'seye, before she was tragically killed in typical comic bad timing. And let's not forget the time he slept with Manitou Raven's wife to support women's rights.

His partner was known as Speedy, before time and Sweet Lady H forced Roy Harper to grow into his own man as Arsenal, then back into Ollie's sidekick as Red Arrow. Harper has taken Ollie's spot in the Justice League, being the first hero to take over his predecessor's place on a team while the predecessor was still active and more popular. There's a new Speedy, now, a former prostitute and HIV carrier, Mia Dearden, because far be it for Ollie to have a sidekick who wasn't an Afterschool Special. What makes Ollie special is that for all his talk about heroes doing more to help with social issues and improve the lives of their fellow man, as soon as he found out Roy was a junkie, he kicked him to the curb.

Green Arrow's place in the DC is now cemented as the guy who questions the status quo, someone who will be the first to jump down someone else's throat about their faults while ignoring his own. He is proficient in superheroing, his skill in archery unequaled. But he has yet to be shown as capable of being more. Now his series is ending and being restarted as Green Arrow & Black Canary in what has to be one of the quickest relationship turnovers ever (or since Black Panther & Storm).

Marvel has Hawkeye:

A circus performer who turned to crime after a misunderstanding and falling in love with the Black Widow, Clinton "Clint" Barton quickly changed lanes and joined up with the Avengers to make up for his mistakes. Mastery of trick shots (he loved the shoot two shafts at a time), he had an variety of specialty arrowheads that were actually useful. Kind of a hot-head, Hawkeye was impulsive, but a team player. When he felt his arrows may not cut it and Hank Pym had become Yellowjacket, he borrowed some Pym particles and became the second Goliath.

It wasn't until Hawkeye met and fell in love with Mockingbird, a very unthinly veiled imitation of Black Canary, that Hawkeye began to evolve. No longer just the team's pointman, Hawkeye stepped up and became leader of the West Coast Avengers, a role he would take up off and on until Mockingbird's(and the series') death. Later, when working with the Avengers under another's (even Cap's) leadership no longer suited him, Hawkeye went to the Thunderbolts, helping the reformed villains gain the trust of the public and leading the team into becoming a real fighting force. He even gave up his freedom when he was arrested for aiding and abetting fugitives.

When he finally returned to the scene, he was quickly killed in the worst death scene written in Avengers Disassembled, after making a point that the Avengers never did enough to make sure an enemy or situation was harmless. Basically, they would take the win and go home, instead of making sure whatever they were dealing with wouldn't come back and bite them in the ass. While dead, his name was taken up by the Young Avenger Kate Bishop , who was given the name by Captain America himself, saying the mantle needed to be taken up by someone worthy.

House of M brought the archer back to life, but in a time while everything he knew was shot to hell. While currently not an archer, Hawkeye is still in the fight as Ronin in New Avengers. But, come on. How long will he resist the siren call of the longbow and how long before too many people ask how the hell did he get so good with a sword?

So who wins?

As far as series goes, Green Arrow has an established history of maintaining a series for a respectable period, but I don't think Hawkeye has ever been given a real shot with top notch talent, like Green Arrow has in his recent series (Meltzer may be cringe worthy now, but Archer's Quest was brilliant).

Unlike Green Arrow who has been stuck in the same role since the seventies, Hawkeye has shown real versatility as a character without losing any believability in his development. Hawkeye can be the hot-head who has fistfights with USAgent, the Joe Everybody leader who commands loyalty through trust, the smart alec showoff cracking jokes or the guy who questions without being a hypocrite. He's like your older brother, best friend and wiseass friend all rolled into one.

THE WINNER!!!!